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Blank Slate Mode

January 16, 2025Uncategorizedchadwickbaldwin Leave a comment

I enjoy writing. It’s one of my pleasures in life. I write fiction, I write here about my observations of life. I write 2 other blogs. 1 for my class, and one about games. I write scenarios for Dungeons and Dragons. I write for my students, I write for myself. I love to write.

I enjoy Board games. I love playing them, I love learning about them. I love analyzing the designs. I love the history of them. I love the cultural impact some have had. I love mixing and matching them. They have been an important part of my life for my whole life.

The last two years I have rediscovered Youtube. I live in China, and it is blocked here. But there are some sneaky ways to see the videos. I generally watch it at night before I go to bed.

Almost every day, when I finish work I will engage in these things. When my youngest goes to bed, I will get a cup of tea and relax. I will watch Youtube videos, read about fantasy, or read about games. I might write a bit if I am inclined. But I do these things every day.

Earlier this week and last week, I would get home very emotionally drained. So drained that after I put my children to bed, I couldn’t do any of my stuff. I tried to read, I couldn’t. I would end up reading the same section 5,6,7 times and still not register it. I tried to write, but stared at a blank page for hours. I tried to watch TV to get Ideas. I would get 10 seconds into a video and then pause it for an hour.

I was just so drained, I couldn’t do what I needed to do to recharge. I wasn’t physically tired, so I couldn’t go to bed. But I literally couldn’t register anything each night. I don’t feel it was a shut down, because I could still get my tea. But that was basically all I could do.

And each day I would get up, head to work, and sort out the children for the day. Then come home with a lower energy than I had the day before.

Today is the first day I am able to put thoughts to page in 5 days.

I really try to keep a schedule for my posts, so If I miss a few over the next couple of weeks, this may be why.

Sorry.

Christmas in the Philippines

December 27, 2024Uncategorizedchadwickbaldwin Leave a comment

This is my first post written on my phone. I muchly prefer to type on a computer. I am very slow on the phone…

The Philippine side of my family has very different traditions than my wife and I. My wife grew up with them, so she is better prepared than I. I have experienced it 3 times only now.

The first thing to notice is no stockings. Stockings are hung for everyone in the family for us. When you wake up on Christmas Day, you get your stocking. Gifts must wait until everyone is there. We introduced them to the Philippine family this year.

Christmas Eve is more important than Christmas Day here. In the Philippines, the family gets together for a party on Christmas Eve. They sing loudly and shoot fireworks. At midnight, they have Christmas dinner.

We did this at my brother-in-law’s house. Unfortunately, the Kareoke machine’s volume level was at maximum, and it had flashing disco lights. It was too much for me. I sat inside listening with my children, who felt the same.

I felt like I was disappointing everyone or disrespecting their culture. Only a few understand my sensory issues.

For us, Christmas Eve has always been the quiet day. We would watch Christmas movies all day and relax together.

Christmas Day this year, we waited for everyone to even open stockings because for half the family, it was their first stocking opening.

I couldn’t think of anything to put in my wife’s stocking this year. It’s hard to buy things for someone when you need them with you to go shopping most times. Instead, I drew a picture of her from our first date 20 years ago.

Normally, we give out one present to everyone, then open them to share in the joy together. Then repeat. This year, we gave out all the gifts right away. Then, opened them. This way had less emphasis on thanking the giver.

I understand that some people got more than others, and with the sheer number of people this way was faster. But it felt strange to do it that way.

Normally, we would have Christmas dinner on Christmas Day in the early afternoon so everyone would stay and visit until then. This year, within an hour of gift opening, everyone was gone. The house felt empty to me.

The difference in culture is interesting for sure. The Philippine family loves being active. Passive visiting is not their thing. I know part of that is me. They feel like they need to include me but don’t know how. So they escape.

These are just my observations, I may be wrong. I also need to emphasize that I did enjoy my Christmas. I hope everyone else did, too.

Belated Merry Christmas all. And Happy New Year!