With Sony’s new policy coming out about physical games, and the push of AI into every aspect of our life, I am starting to feel old and worried about the future. In My last post I talked about motivation in writing, and how everything is now about monetization. I worry about that.

I have spent the summer break in a bit of a slump. I brushed off my RPG Maker program (I old school it with the 2003 version). I have been tinkering with a remake version of one of my favourite games. I have been adding functions I wanted in it, and saving it locally. No AI, no pressure, just tinker, and retinker.

This game has be remade many times by the owning company. They have released Mangas, Novelettes and spin off games in the same world. They have created wonderful Lore and extensions for this game. So I have decided to write ideas from the spin off, and extended media and add them to my version of the game. I have also taken time in the past to write world notes for D&D (BECMI if your interested in editions), to use it in that game if I ever start playing again. I may give more details on my other blog: Baldwin Games.

I know I cannot release the game. I know that would be illegal. But the point is not to release the game. Working on it helps me defocus, and just do work for the sake of having a project. I believe it was Adam Savage who said that when you finish a project, you feel a bit empty and need to move onto another project because finishing was never the reason for the project in the first place.

I remember someone, several people actually, in my past trying to explain meditation. They tried to explain how you sit, and focus on your breathing, and let your mind become empty. It has never been possible for me. I have heard that ADHDers and Autistics have difficulty with this. The thing is, you ask us to focus on our breathing. Then our mind does that. We ask if we are breathing right. Should we speed up, or slow down? Are we breathing in the right way? Is it in the nose and out the mouth, in the mouth and out the nose? Or it is in the mouth and out the mouth?

By time we get to the spot where we are copying what everyone else is doing, we try to move into the empty your mind part and a thousand questions fill our mind: How? why does my toe tickle? Did I brush my hair this morning? Why is everyone looking so calm? Why don’t I feel calm yet? Is that a fly buzzing around? I can hear their breathing. Why does she/he breathe so funny?

My father used to tinker or putter in his workshop all the time. When I look back at it, this was the closest he could get to meditation. I am the same. I putter away, and tinker all the time. I don’t have his workshop, and I wish I did. I miss sitting in his workshop with the radio playing. My puttering is writing, editing, making games, crafting, or one of a million no-consequence problems in my life that needs a solution or fix.

I have also been playing on the PlayStation with my daughter. I have tried to play toys with her, but I struggle with dolls, and social role-plays. I have no idea what to do. I will hold Ken while Barbie lists a few things to do, and so I will try to have Ken do these things, but they never seem to be right, and I don’t really know what to make him say. You would think my D&D experience would help with this, but it doesn’t much. The problem is there is no problem. Ken isn’t there to fix anything or to make anything better, he is there to exist in her area. I don’t know what to do with that.

The game we have been playing is Lego Worlds. We started with the Adventure mode, and we got to a spot where we are supposed to wander aimlessly and look for golden bricks to move on. I would get bored or lost, and just wander aimlessly. Then she discovered one of the worlds that gave us the option for “Sandbox mode”.

This one I enjoy. We put our house on top of a Hoodoo like stone pillar. I then build roads connecting all of these stone pillars. We have then started adding buildings to our sky city. We have an art school, a Cafe, a deli, a few homes for NPCs, a Cloud Castle, and a Bank. I have been making these glass bottomed paths and plazas so that the light can still pass through our city and get to the plants. It is something I can tinker at non stop.

My daughter get s a bit frustrated though. When the sun goes down in the game, her she puts her character to bed. That’s what people do at night, right? But here’s the thing. If we both go to bed, the night doesn’t disappear in the game. so we sit in real life waiting for the night to pass. I chose not to participate in this after the 4th or 5th night. I stay up building all night (in game).

My frustration is not connected to the game play. For reasons, my PlayStation account is the one with the bank information and PlayStation online etc. My 8 year old daughter cannot play Lego by logging into her PlayStation account. I have been asking the kids to play on their accounts so as not to delete my save files, and you need at least 2 accounts because you cannot have more than 1 account connected to a controller at a time. But if the children want to play, they have to log into my account, then log into their account to open the game. If they turn on the machine and immediately open their own account, the PlayStation tells them that they don’t have access to the game until my account is logged into.

Effectively they are saying that unless an 8 year old buys her own copy of the game, she needs her Dad to start things first. But not just Lego: Bluey, and Peppa Pig, and Paw Patrol. All games I would never play on my own, and games that are age appropriate, need to be logged into from my account before she can play. The account with games that are not age appropriate for her in it.

Let’s put this into tabletop logic. It’s the same as if she wanted to play Monopoly with her sister, but cannot start until Dad unlocks the cabinet with Roulette in it first. (Dad can we play the spinning wheel game with the money?)

And look I know young children should not have unrestricted access to video games all the time, but that’s for the parents to regulate, not the game console. I am also aware that not all parents are willing to parent, not the point.

In all of this, I have had little focus to spare on the books I am writing, because they require thinking on my part at this point and I just want to defocus and relax.

I hope everyone’s summer has been one of relaxation and renewal. Jury’s out on mine so far.