About a year ago I wrote about my experiences in shopping. I still struggle with this, but I thought I would write again about this difficulty after this weekend’s attempts to shop.

Since we moved to ShenZhen we have been mostly getting our groceries at the local Walmart. I am glad that we have one here. Are there other options? Yes. Have we found or experienced many? Not yet.

During the summer, we were able to go shopping mostly during the week. If you are not aware, weekend shopping can be a bit of a nightmare.

Since work is starting up again, we have to get back into the routine of shopping on the weekend, and slow down on the food delivery. In order to limit difficulties, My wife and I put our youngest into a playground nearby, and had our older daughter watch her while she drew. This way we would only have 2 of us to try to push through the crowds.

Walmart was busy. Back to school sales drew in a lot of extra people, yes. But a lot of extra on top of the regular chaos that is the weekend shopping.

I am lucky that they do not test their air fresheners or other perfumes. The entire upper floor, filled with household goods, was mostly scent free. But once we moved down to the food floor, My brain went on high alert. Loud noise and crowds do not a friend make with the autistic brain.

My wife was able to slide through the crowds easily, and I would get cut off, or have people move way to close for comfort. Aisles were filled with people, and hard to navigate. Often times I would just stand in the main Aisle, while my wife grabbed things. Unfortunately that meant I moved slowly, to not run into people and to keep distance, and stopped a lot. This meant I was prime prey for the food samplers.

I know a lot of people love the food samples at supermarkets. And I do periodically, but not often. I have texture issues with food, smell issues with food, and tast issues with food. So it is rare that I find a sample I am willing to try. On top of that, in a crowded market, all my senses are in overdrive. So for an employee to tap me on the shoulder to offer food, or to push a random thing on a stick or a cup of odd liquid into my face as I am trying to maneuver away from people can be extremely frustrating.

We had an employee rush up to my cart, and put 2 packs of shrimp right in my cart so she could take a picture. No asking, just boom there she was with things pushed into my cart. She then removed them from the cart after the photo, but it was startling.

Clear Headed issues.

Luckily, my wife was happy to lead the way through sections and Checked that I was ok multiple times. She could see it on my face. But in crowds like that, another issue that happens, is I cannot think straight.

Normally If I am shopping, I can look at products, check the expiration date, or the price and spend a bit of time deciding which one I need. If I am overstimulated, I will often grab the first thing that matches my needs. We need bacon? Great, there it is, done, I can rush out of this section. Is it our brand? is it the right amount? is it a good price? I don’t know, but I escaped that crowd for now.

Cost of groceries can be as much as 50% higher than normal because of this.

Arm space.

One of the reason My wife and I enjoy Walmart and other wester style shops, is not just number of customers. I like to have space to move around. If the aisles are too narrow, I don’t feel comfortable going down them. Even if there is no other person in the aisle, I feel like a bull in a pottery shop. I know if I turn, or look around, I will knock something off the shelf. So I have to shuffle sideways into the aisle, or head directly through.

This is especially hard since I am usually carrying a backpack that has our shopping bags and other essentials in it. (Motion sickness things for my family, tissues, etc.)

Smells

I mentioned earlier that I am glad that Walmart doesn’t spray their perfumes and things into the air. There are, however many shops that burn incense, and spray perfumes or fresheners into the air. These smells often give me headaches, but the stronger ones will actually cause my eyes to burn. A few times I had to avoid people who were wearing a lot of scents while shopping. (And sometimes at work) because I just cannot breathe, or see, and need headache meds.

Solutions vs reality.

Some of my difficulties have possible solutions, but they are not always practical.

Headphones: For my sound sensitivity, I could wear my headphones. They block out a lot of the sound. If I was alone, I would do this. But I was raised with the following “etiquette” It is rude to wear headphones when out with people. If I am with my family, or friends, it is rude to wear headphones. They need to communicate with me too, and it is difficult to do that with headphones on.

Weekday Shopping: For my spacial awareness, i could shop with my wife after school. So there will be less people. There are days I may have the energy to do this. But typically after school I have been needed to help my daughter with her homework. I also need my down time to process the day or i will not be able to fall asleep at night.

Wife Shop during weekdays: Some people have suggested that My wife shop during weekdays on her own. I am not the only one in my family with developmental difficulties. My wife suffers from extreme anxiety when she has to go out or do things on her own. She needs a comfort person with her just to leave the house. She has not found someone outside the family yet that she is that comfortable with.

Shopping List: I have several apps on my phone that keep me organized. 1 is a shopping list app. I can and often do use it to keep trak of the things I have to buy. this can include product names, and values. Yes, I may have to stand in the crowd to ge the right stuff, but having it easily visible, helps remove some processing power from me, and I can focus on staying safe.

Health Apps: Another solution I have been known to use is my Health App’s Breathing excercise. I can stand away from people and focus on the breathing, either by closing my eyes, or by focusing on the expanding and contracting bubble in the app.