Shopping can be hard. It is hard when we break routine. Certain shopping centers terrify me, others are just uncomfortable enough that I avoid them. Below are things I like and dislike about shopping.

Crowds

Large groups of people in small spaces suffocate me. I become highly aware of how much space is between myself and everyone else. While my wife is able to walk freely between people to grab things, I end up navigating around busy aisles to that I have enough personal space. I end up getting cut off by people running in front of me, which gives me a min-panic attack, and I end up backing up away from people to make space.

There is a shopping center nearby that is 100% below ground, and has tiny aisles so that they can fit everything in. Just the thought of going there is exhausting.

Sound

Often due to the crowds, the noise in these places is pretty intense. I cannot discuss with my wife what we need, or where she is heading off to. I hear a wall of sound, and it is overwhelming. To combat this we use a shopping list app that I can focus on. I just do my best to follow my wife and look at the list.

Many shopping centers have music playing from different departments, the Electronics department will have shows playing, the food department has “Calming” music, the hawkers try to get your attention to buy things or introduce samples. The people talk very loud, the lights buzz, the shopping trolley wheels squeak. all of this gives me a massive headache, and makes it really hard to focus on things. What I need, do I need this extra thing not on my list? I don’t know because I cannot think.

Samples

I like my space. I like being left to do my shopping. So when a lady, or gentleman comes over to offer me samples, that I was moving away from, they invade my space I was trying to keep. Or when there is a sampling that involves cooking, there is invariably a line up for the samples, that block off entire sections of the store. I now have to move back, and reanalyze the lay out of the store to find a safe way to get to where I need to go.

On top of these, if I am shopping with my children, often a sample-provider will walk right up to the kids and give them a sample, no asking permission. I mean what if the child (Who doesn’t speak the language) was allergic to their food? they didn’t check, they just gave, and sometimes I have to bat the food away, or intercept it, and then I look like the bad guy…

I understand that providing samples is an essential part of the business, and I appreciate that. But really…

Re-Arranging or Products, or replacing products.

There are certain products that my wife and I have been buying for years, and when they disappear it is frustrating. Both of us are very particular about the brands and products we buy. Brand C is not a replacement for Brand A. I’m sorry, no. It looks different, it costs different, it tastes different. No.

Its bad enough when a product is moved for a special, and you now have to run around the whole store into aisles you never go into for various reasons, just to find it. But when a Brand or product stops being available all together, and often with no warning. We often go without our favorite dishes when this happens. It may take 2 or three months before we try again. There are dishes that we used to eat all the time, but we have not made in 5 years now because of this issue.

People

Not the same as crowds. If I have had a good experience with the people who work at a place I will shop there, if not I wont. I had an experience at a shop nearby that keeps me from buying food there ever again. One of the meat counter employees asked me for my personal contact information so that he could practice his English. This action caused him to get into a fist fight with another employee.

I have not returned to that meat department in 2 years.

My Favorite Places to Shop

There are two places I enjoy shopping. The reasons are simple, and maybe you can spot them.

Place one is a small shop. think local green grocer. They have a lot of produce and a limited supply of meat. The people are polite, the aisle are narrow, but are organized in a very logical way, so i can easily get to what I need. Products don’t move out of their area. If it is not there, they are out of stock, I can try next time. There is very soft music, but since there are not a lot of people inside at a time, due to it’s narrow aisles, it is quiet.

Place two is a large warehouse style store, but only for food. It has a lot of space in the aisles. There is a lot of variety. Rarely do things move. It is underground, but it doesn’t feel claustrophobic because the aisles are wide enough. The employees don’t approach you, you approach them for help, and they are very nice about this. It is very bright and clean looking, and the entire atmosphere is relaxing.

Around the corner from place two is one of my favorite coffee shops, which is connected to a book store, so it is a nice quiet place to relax.

But of course the best way to shop, for me is online delivery. I don’t need to leave my home, and 95% of the time I get exactly what I ask for.

All of these factors lead to an exhausting experience that unfortunately must be repeated if I wish to survive.