Daily Life

Autistic Teacher. Out or Not?

Autism, Daily Life, Memoires, Musings, Uncategorized, , , , One comment

Today I had a nice short conversation with my Assistant Principal. Today was our Parent Teacher Conferences, and she was curious how they were going. At one point she asked me if I had told my parents about me being autistic.

At first I didn’t realize she meant my student’s parents. My response was a simple, yes, of course my parents know. They had me diagnosed when I was a child. It was just after I answered that I saw the look in her face. No, sorry. I have been open about it with the students, but not advertised to the parents.

I mean I wear a pin on my lanyard that says “I am Autistic.” They may have seen it, but I have not said anything to them. She asked me why. She has apparently been one of my supporters, without me knowing.

For context, I came out to the entire school staff about a week ago. I have had a group of people that knew for a while that could help support me. But I was asked to make a speech promoting Pink Shirt Day. During my speech I talked about how important the event was to me (even if it 2 months late). I talked about being bullied as a child for being autistic, and how that bullying still affects me today.

I think some of my coworkers clued in as to why I don’t join the many morale building activities at the local bars or the major school dress event for teachers each year. It’s too loud and too overwhelming.

My AP told me it is important to hear my story. It echoed a message I got on one of my posts a few months ago. But I have to be honest, it’s not the easiest thing to bring up.

At my old school I was open about being autistic. This is why some of my current coworkers know. They worked with me then. I had brought both Pink shirt day, and Blue shirt day to that school. I am certain neither has survived without me there.

Blue shirt day is April 2nd. It is now called World Autism Day. I set it up to help introduce neurodivergence to the children. The school was fine about it. But a co-worker there took offense. He was certain that the students would start to diagnose each other and that it would cause segregation and bullying.

I can understand his concerns. But if it is handled properly, with an external example, there should be no problem. I told him to use me as an example. He did not teach about autism, even if the school and I asked. I was the head of his department. The school was holding a charity event to raise money for an orphanage that cared for autistic children. He refused to acknowledge it.

After that he began to act aggressive to me. He knew about my autism, and it made him dislike me more. He used this knowledge to have me removed from my position as department head. And he used to spread rumors about me to the team I had. Some of them have joined me at my new school.

When I joined my current school, I opened up about my autism to my grade level lead. I was advised to not make it public. Parents might use it as a reason to request a different teacher for their child. So I didn’t. I was interviewed by the school magazine on my experience with neurodivergent students. However, I was still scared to talk about my own diagnosis.

After 3 years at this school, I began to open up about it again. But I still have doubts. Angry co-workers or parents may try to use the information about me. They could turn me into a scapegoat. It may already be happening with a parent. I don’t know.

I just want to be a positive role model for other autistic kids. Show them that we can overcome our sensitivities, and our hurdles. It is difficult, but not impossible. But some individuals will intentionally complicate things for us. They add to our regular struggles.

So the question opens up, for my next school I go to. Do I remain open about my Autism, or try to hide it again?

Notebooks & Stuffies – A Winning Combination

Autism, Daily Life, Family Leave a comment

I feel like I have been focusing on the struggles I have a lot lately. So today I wanted to focus on some of the quirks we have in our very neurodivergent home.

Notebooks: I have boxes of notebooks. My daughter has shelves of them. Most of them have like 2 pages written on them, then they get shelved away. This of course drives my wife nuts, but its our reality. My Novel Writing notebook is just for that. My D&D Teacher Campaign notebook, is just for that. My Video game ideas notebook cannot have notes on any other topic. My Diary, has daily notes and and observations. My Faith notebook, has notes on religion. Every Notebook has a very specific purpose, and no other.

At work I have my diary and my Teacher planner. My planner is work related only. My diary is more a of a scrapbook. It has refillable pages, but I tape in it collector cards my students give me, sketches my children have done. Feeling and stresses do in there. sometimes I will make notes about my students there. But I only feel it is allowed because the pages are removable, and refillable. Otherwise this feels wrong.

Stuffies: Another noticeable thing is the boxes of stuffed toys. My classroom has almost a dozen stuffed toys in it. My house has stuffed toys of many shapes and sizes in every room. On top of that we have several plastic crates filled with them. I no longer collect stuffed animals at home. I don’t because my 2 daughters have picked up the mantle, and I can always hug and cuddle with theirs.

Board Games: 2 Days ago My Daughter and I decided to Tidy up and reorganize my Board game collection. We took everything out and put them in the living room. It filled the room. I Love board games, and my youngest daughter does too. The rest of the family like some of the games. Which is why we were sorting them. Games that are easy and fun to play as a family, and games that are hard, and most wont play.

I remember about 8 years ago I had a coworker who also loved board games. But I discovered our interests did not overlap. He enjoyed the newer skill based games that you dominate your friends with. I enjoy games that are a lot more casual and relaxed. what he called “Old school games”. I enjoy games with dice, like Snakes and Ladders. I enjoy games with quirky cards like The Game of Life. Or games of interaction like Pictionary. I also love ancient games and games that would feel right at home with the ancient games. Many games are too “modern” for my tastes.

Art: I love art. Art made by people I know, or given by people I know. Our walls are covered with paintings made by my children. There are paper crafts, and home made fans, and sketches of family land. My family, all of my family tend to agree on this. Everything that is on our walls, or above our cabinets, like my pet dragon “Firegorn Cinderpuff” are all connected to important people in my life.

Pro Autie-dad tip: Any weird or odd special interests are perfectly fine if they are related to your children. I introduced my son to Final Fantasy, which is one of my obsessions from childhood (Only the first 1). Onlookers didn’t bat an eye at this because I was sharing with my son. He has helped me enjoy the rest of the series, and it is one of his special interests. I am still only obsessed with the story and background of the first one, but I enjoy the rest so far too.

When my children started enjoying My Little Pony, I became a fan and would sit and obsess over them too. I do not feel like I fit the concept of a Brony. But I do enjoy the story, characters, humor, etc.

When my children were around age 10, I shared my obsession with all things Power Rangers. I tried to introduce them earlier, but the monsters scared them until they were 10. I have tucked away many notebooks on my lore notes of Power Rangers. I also had stories written down. I have purchased the Power Rangers TTRPG, but have not tried to play it yet. Unfortunately, I feel like the gamers in my area might not be ready for MegaZord Battles. My children are unfortunately, a bit too busy with their own lives to fit in an RPG Campaign right now…


Anyways I hope you enjoyed a look into the quirky parts of my life.

I found a few Sketches I made in notebooks I would like to share too…

Angel-Irish
Angel irish
pre Touch-up copy of picture WTF

Beijing. Why Beijing?

Daily Life, Family Leave a comment

A Question we are asked often, is: Why Beijing?

I was explaining to one of my new co-workers about this today. I realized that it felt like the right thing to write about. Some of the topics below may come off as complaining. I want to assure you that is in no way the case. Most of the decisions we made, especially the family related ones, we would make again in a heartbeat. This is just to explain how we got where we are, and are in the position we are in.

When Irish and I got married, I was working in Korea. I have this dumb tendency to think things will just work out if you are patient enough. In this case it did not. Korea would not give my new wife a visa without a notarized marriage contract. The Philippine government takes around 6 months to do this.

So almost immediately after we got married, I had to leave my wife. I returned to work, and she stayed with her family.

Shortly after that I quit that job and moved to the Philippines. Together, we looked for work in a country that would take both of us. China agreed. We moved up to Harbin, a northern city in China. They had some beautiful old Russian architecture. We stayed there for a year. During that year 2 things happened: We lost Irish’s father to medical conditions, and Irish got pregnant.

The school at Harbin was not paying very much. This is especially true compared to what I get now. But, they had brought us over, and for that we appreciate them. Of our little savings, we sent money back to the Philippines for her father’s funeral and medical bills. Then we paid out of pocket for Irish to give birth in a Chinese hospital. The school did not offer insurance for us.

We then realized we would need to move to improve our lifestyle for our son. We also needed to earn more to increase our savings. I got a job offer from Beijing. We were supposed to stay for 2 years while working on paperwork for returning to Korea or Japan.

Again, nope. In Beijing, my first company had me teaching all around the city. My Harbin company had delayed paperwork. I was late arriving and would not get the position I was promised with them. As a result, I got all the odd-jobs. I worked in 2 different universities, 2 different language school campuses (Same school, different locations), and an elementary school. Each of these were on different corners of the city.

So I had little time to do paperwork for Japan, and Korea. And then we got pregnant with our first daughter.

So 2 years after We had my son, we were expecting our daughter. We went to an English speaking hospital downtown for our prenatal check ups. They rushed us through as fast as was possible. but when it came time, a few things happened. 1) The city center shut down for parade practice. That was China’s 60th anniversary, and we could not get to our hospital. 2) So we found an International hospital. We also discovered that the Chinese hospital had screwed up somehow. Irish’s C-section cut was reopening with this new pregnancy. We had to rush her into emergency to deliver our daughter, or we were told she would die. This cut still bothers her to this day periodically.

I had to borrow money from my boss to pay for this. Once again, I did not have insurance for my wife. It took me 5 years to pay that bill off. During that time, My mother-in-law passed away, and we had to deal with that. We paid for the funeral with the help of my family in Canada. But this left Irish and I as the financial sponsors for her two sisters, who became like our daughters. High-school, and university for one, High-school for the other, and living expenses.

We moved from the 2nd company to a 3rd, a school I was at for about 13 years in total. I had done work for them while working for the 2nd company, and moved over. They were very good to me for many years. I became management for a short while. Then politics happened, and I was replaced by a manipulative man, with many issues. I believe he used my autism against me, but I am not sure.

We were helping my brother out with a place to stay in Canada. We paid half his rent. We also paid the university fees for my sister-in-law and her survival fees.

Then we reached our point, My son was in middle school. School 3 had no High-school. We had to move.

We moved up to the school I’m at now. and not 2 months into my 1st year there, my mother was in a car accident that nearly killed her. When she recovered from that she was diagnosed with Cancer, and given 6 months to live. All our plans of paying for my further education to get me licensed over the last decade kept falling apart. I was stressed about family, We started sending mom money when we were able.

For years we kept saying we would move out of Beijing. It has been 15 years now, although it was supposed to be a 2-year trip. Now my son is graduating from Highschool, and I am determined to finally move out of this city.

Many good things happened here, but many harsh things happened while we were here as well. And many, many times we felt trapped like we would never get to leave. From the Harbin year to school 3, we only left Beijing three times. Each departure was due to a family crisis. Luckily, since moving to School 4, we have been able to spend some time visiting family, for actual visits.

So yeah, I have raised 3 kids, all 3 of them the hospital costs came out of pocket. same time financially cared for 4 family members and 2 funerals.

A fresh start somewhere might be nice.