Author: chadwickbaldwin

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About chadwickbaldwin

A Canadian teacher in China

Rules are NOT Made to be Broken.

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There is a common expression that irks me. “Rules are made to be broken.” I am sure you can guess why. I firmly believe it should be something like “Records are meant to be broken” (Please don’t break my LPs).

On Monday an amusing thing happened and I had to explain this concept to one of our Senior Staff. On Monday we had our Art Expo Gallery Event. The children have been preparing their art to put on display. On Monday afternoon, that had a lot of Art related activities including a Gallery Walk.

Before the Gallery Walk we introduced the Rules of a Gallery. Our Art teacher prepared a video and slide show for us to go over with our class. The Rules are simple, and for use in a real Museum or Art Gallery.

  • Do not touch the art.
  • Stay back behind the barriers
  • Let others around you see the art. (Don’t block the way)
  • Quiet.
  • No photos.
  • No eating near the art.

Shortly after this, one of my autistic students noticed our Head of School walking around near our classroom. They took out their Phone to take pictures of the Art. My student immediately went outside and quietly talked with the School head. I did not hear what he was saying, but then I was approached, respectfully, to ask about the rules. Apparently my student has asked him not to take pictures of the art.

I wanted to laugh, and it took me a moment to respond. I informed him that these were the rules set up by the Head Art Teacher. Then I asked him to follow the rules. He thanked me and left. When I was eating lunch, later, I finally got the words to explain, and sent him a message.

You see in most autistic heads, a rule is a rule. If there are exceptions, it is not a rule. We can and do learn about exceptions and the reason behind them, but when we are young it is hard. Autistic children will get stuck on analyzing what the exceptions are. They wonder if what they are going to do fits into those classifications. They will not ever be sure if what they are doing is alright, or not.

If they do it and nobody catches them, it reinforces their belief. They think this must be one of the exceptions. Then they are caught doing it wrong later. They get confused. They have to go back to trying to figure out what is ok and what is not.

In a school setting where rules may differ from home, this can cause a lot of confusion.

Children are not the only ones lost by this. Rules are created for a reason. In our minds, there must be a reason for these rules. Often they are safety, and following them will keep us from harm. Sometimes they are respectful, and disobeying will cause someone to be angry with us. No autistic person wants this, it does not “run off our backs like a duck.” Rules can be there to protect things, like our history, or other people’s property. We don’t want others breaking our things, and so empathize with them.

There are so many times, where my Mask and My need for following rules have clashed. Other Autists have this issue to. We often feel pressure to fit in and look like everyone else. This is how we keep our Mask up. But when everyone else is breaking a clearly stated Rule, it drives us nuts.

When I was studying to be a teacher, I had to deal with this. In the Men’s bathroom was this big no Smoking Sign. Daily, there was people standing next to it, or leaning against it smoking. I would ask them to go outside to smoke. The common argument was they didn’t want to go down to the first floor to smoke. Eventually, the building allowed smoking on the Fire Escape at the higher floors. We were on the 4th floor.

I handled this by going down to the 3rd floor. Alternatively, I would go up to the 5th floor to use the bathroom. This of course made people see me in a negative light. I was being a snob.

One of my early Schools actually had a fire. The auditorium caught fire. Did we follow the Fire escape plan we had practiced over and over again? Did we call the fire department? No. The fire had taken out the fire alarm for that building. Local Teachers were herding kids back into their buildings to not miss class. and the PE teachers began getting the fire hose out to put out an electrical fire.

I did my best to keep staff and teachers out of the building, and herd them to the safe zone. Two other foreigners did the same. I was so upset. Teachers and children could have died. The school was only worried about their test scores and reputation. They ordered us not to talk about it again.

I am glad I left that school.

Rules are here for a reason. And that reason isn’t so you can break them to look cool. They are not a challenge to accept. They are not there for fun.

Blankets

Autism, Daily Life, Family, Uncategorized, , , Leave a comment

There is something amazing about a blanket. It is calming and comforting. Everyone should have a blanket.

I look back at Linus from the Peanuts comics. He was always seen with his blanket. My family used to call it a security blanket. He used to wear it as headgear or use it as a whip, but for me, that’s not realistic.

Ford Prefect from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy always carried a towel.  In a way, it was his security blanket. But of all the uses mentioned, wrapping yourself up tightly wasn’t one of them.

I read and hear a lot about weighted blankets helping neurodivergent and autistics out. When I  was younger, I loved heavy blankets, and for years I never equated the two.

A heavy or weighted blanket puts a constant warm soft pressure on your body. That pressure helps you feel safe and calms you down when stressed.

For me, it is like a full body hug. A hug from someone who never judges you, never demands anything,  and never needs to break the hug until you are ready. I particularly enjoy snuggling in a blanket.

Unfortunately, when I got married, I didn’t have the words to explain my need for blankets.  I had always assumed everyone loved them like I do. My wife was raised without blankets. Where she was raised, in the tropics, blankets were more of a status symbol.

For the first few years of marriage,  my side of the bed had blankets at night. And even today on warm nights, she doesn’t use blankets. And heavy blankets are only for cold nights.

We have both adjusted to each other’s needs. Sometimes, with two different blankets on the bed.

But blankets are not just for beds. Our living room has a couple of thin blankets.  On stressful days, I will return home and cocoon myself on the sofa. Or half cocoon on medium stress days.

Cocooning is when you wrap the blanket tightly around yourself.  It gives the same comfort as a weighted blanket. I may lay down completely cocooned and isolated for a few hours.

On less stressful days, I will half cocoon. I wrap the blanket tightly around my legs and lower torso. Then I can drink tea or use the remote control to watch TV.

When in this mode, the TV is mostly for white noise. It doesn’t really matter what comes on. As long as it takes my mind off the day.

Tonight, I am up at a lodge for a church retreat with my family. My children and I are delighted that there are heavy blankets on all the beds. Just sitting here with it is relaxing.

Goodnight, I hope you all have amazing blankets

Routines – just how important are they?

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I recently informed my whole school staff that I am Autistic. It was a terrifying experience. But what does that mean? How can I function as a teacher?

As with any part of my life, routines are very important. I can not stress this enough. Routines are so important. The less stress I can put on my brain the better.

The school I am at has a 6 day cycle. We work 5 days a week, and the days are cycled from days A through F. So each week is a different combination of letter days. It has taken me 3 1/2 years to get used to this. I am never sure what I am preparing for the next day. I want to have spelling quizzes or short review games every Friday. I can’t. I never know what time I have having class on Friday, or what subjects, or how many classes. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the original reason for this; to alleviate loss of class from special events (usually on Fridays). But it is really hard to get used to. And my Neurodivergent students have this same difficulty.

But here’s the thing, routine changes compounded upon each other make things harder. For example. If I come into class on Monday, knowing it is a Day C for example. I have to plan out my marking time, and printing time. And then we have an assembly. It changes the routine. I don’t get to do my marking or printing at my planned time. My brain starts to Itch. Then I rush to do that at my lunch. I go to eat but discover they don’t have my safe food (Penn Bolognese and Salad). That’s another two routine changes. My brain begins to go into a panic. I have a monthly meeting after school to plan for. I know about it, but since it’s monthly, the routine is not there. I start to panic, and my brain begins to feel hot and swollen. What I am supposed to do or say at the meeting? I start to feel really upset. And then I have a student innocently interrupt my lesson with something unexpected. This could be what causes me to just sit down and shut down for a moment.

I have gone silent on my class. Lately, I have begun to just sit on the floor of my class during instruction time. Not because I want the attention, but I honestly just can’t think, and worry about falling over.

I have been honest about my autism with my students since the beginning of the year. I let them know about my quirks, and loud voices, and shut downs. Some of them took it serious, others are just starting to realize that I was not joking.

But they are just 8 or 9 years old. Should they have to deal with that? I ask myself this a lot this year. I have to remind myself that its not that they are dealing with it. I am dealing with it. They are learning about how to be accepting, and open to different peoples. Or I hope they are learning that. There is no assessment for this. No score. No grade.

I have some amazing students, who guide me back. They shouldn’t have to, but they have taken on the task. They quiet the class down, as much as they can. And they ask me about the subject at hand after I have had a short sit down. Prompting me back to the topic I was teaching. This helps me refocus.

Back to my topic. Routines. I am an adult who has been doing this for 40+ years. I still have this difficulty. So, what about my students? As we get closer to the end of the school year, events increase. We experience more disruptions to routines. “Fun” activities, according to the leadership. I understand they want the kids to end the year with some “fun” memorable events. But my 8 year olds, who are still learning how to manage their emotions, have trouble with their routines. Their routine is disrupted so frequently, that we are seeing more and more sensory issues, that lead to meltdowns.

My monotropic brain freezes up when I face a decision. Do I continue teaching 17 students the lesson on grammar? Or do I go console and guide the student having a meltdown in the middle of the room? I actually freeze up. My brain wants to continue what it was doing (The lesson) because changing gears is difficult. But my heart wants to stop everything and guide them, and calm them. I know the rest of the class should learn from this. However, I get stuck. Then I get frustrated because I need to change gears and can’t.

Imagine, if you will, you are in a mine cart moving along a track. (Minecraft players will like this reference). You are going down a hill, and are enjoying the ride. But you realize that up ahead is a switch you need to hit to change directions. You then pull heavily on the breaks. You slow down your cart so that you can go at a speed slow enough to hit the switch. You can imagine how hard it is to pull that break for the entire hill. You know you need to change track. The one you are on will either hurt someone or lead to a dead end. But do you have the strength? Can you do it in time?

My brain works like that. I need to pull on the breaks heavily to change tracks. It’s so much easier to stay on one track, my routine. Change it and I have to pull that break often. Otherwise, I have to deliberately go slow all day. I often take frequent breaks to accommodate this change.

And the children have it harder, because they don’t have the strength to pull that break for long. Not yet. So what ends up happening is their mine cart crashes. They get hurt. They are not screaming and kicking things and collapsing on the ground because they want to. They are hurt, and they don’t know how to deal with it.

Routines help prevent this. Just let us stay on our tracks, or only change the tracks a very little. And always give us a lot of time to process the change in advance.