Month: July 2025

19 Years – Update

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So, after the events that lead to last week’s post, thing have changed.

On our end, we kept trying to find ways to get My wife’s paperwork sped up from the Philippine side. However, due to the typhoons (plural) that hit the country recently, certain government offices were flooded, and closed. (or the area nearby was inaccessible, I’m not sure). So getting a rushed paper copy of the paperwork was quoted as 4~6 weeks to arrive.

We looked into an E-Apostille. And ordered one. 2 problems came up from that. Apparently China doesn’t accept E-Apostilles, which sucks. The other problem is the method in which an E-Apostille is made. One Government office prints up our paperwork, authenticates it and then MAILS the papers to the Apostille. The Apostille Office then has to scan it, and create the digital apostle form. The Apostille Office doesn’t trust digital copies sent from the government? And then this falls into the whole Manila is flooded problem.

The HR representative from my company had been working on ways to extend my wife’s visa. They were handling this from the China side. She was more successful. We discovered that there is a specialty Immigration office on the far side of the city. This office deals with non standard applications, or problem solving. My wife had an interview with them yesterday. They agreed to extend her current visa 30 days.

So now we have 30 days to finish getting the paperwork.

This morning, My son received our marriage certificate from the government. But it was not Apostilled. And the next available appointment to get an Apostille was end of August. We called the government (again) this morning. They helped us order an Apostilled Marriage Certificate without an appointment. It should be available this week.

So at this point, we seem to be on the way to finally getting my wife a spousal visa. She will finally be legally recognized as family in China, after 19 years.

In 19 years, nobody said a word.

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19 years ago, I got married. At the time I was working in South Korea. When I got married, Korea told me that my marriage certificate would not be acceptable for 6 months. Basically I would have to leave my new wife in the Philippines for half a year. I was not ok with that. China, at that time said it was ok. We could come together and work here.

I must have told people that story 100 times over the last 19 years. We applied for our visas in the Chinese embassy in Manila, Philippines. We got the visas. and we came over. 19 years ago, The embassy gave me and my wife visiting visas. The company I was going to work at fixed our visas in country. I now had a work Visa. For 19 years, I thought My wife had a spousal visa. She did not. She had a “Personal Business Visa.”

19 years.

When we moved to Beijing, 18 years ago, nobody batted an eye. They transferred our visas to Beijing and said nothing. Nobody thought it strange that my wife didn’t have a spousal visa. We invited her family to visit using what we thought was her dependence visa as proof of relation. Nobody wanted to do the paperwork to fix that. and worst of all, nobody said anything. Her “Personal Business Visa,” somehow connected her to me closely enough that we could invite her family under my visa? Not once, but 3 or 4 times. No questions asked.

I moved through 3 companies in Beijing, nobody said anything. The HR departments all just looked at it and shrugged, then extended the visa. Why would they question it, if she had been using it for so long.

We moved to Shen Zhen recently. They cannot transfer my visa down like I did when I moved from Haerbin to Beijing 18 years ago. Maybe the policy changed, maybe one or more of my old companies bent the law. I don’t know. So my new company is filing for completely new visas. Work, and spousal.

Great.

But now we need paperwork from the Philippines that we didn’t before to prove our marriage certificate is real.

Ok.

Great.

But nobody seems to know what is needed. We were told to get it translated and notarized. We did that. We got it translated, and then took it to the notary. They re-translated it and stamped that the translation was accurate. Not a Notarization.

Then we were told to get it authenticated at the Philippine Embassy or Consulate. So we headed to GuangZhou, the capital city of this province. We walked into the Philippine Consulate. Nope. They don’t do that.

Now we are told that it has to be apostilled. Which can be done right next to the government building in Manila. Only there.

We have been running around for 2 weeks getting paperwork that didn’t work, wasting money. The Notary was the first person in 19 years to mention that my wife’s visa was not a spousal visa. Itw was not a dependent visa. This shocked me.

For the record, up until 2 years ago, the translation and notary was what was needed. But 2 years ago China joined the Hague Convention. An international agreement that says only apostilles are needed from governments and no longer translations, authentications and notarization.

Good to know for the future, but apparently most people here didn’t know that. Including the Philippine government website… Their Consulate knew it, but the Consular website did not.

What does this all mean. There is a very good chance, my wife will have to leave the country next week. Just before I start work. She will have to wait until my paperwork is processed on August 5th, then start her processing from the Philippines. Most likely, she will be able to return mid to late September, if she has to go. We are exploring all options right now.

I am not blaming. The last 3 schools probably just assumed I knew. But, damn it sucks. Nobody in 19 years happened to mention, “Hey your kids are dependents, but your wife isn’t.”

Hong Kong

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Earlier this week, my family and I took the fabled train to Hong Kong. It was one of the things everyone tells your about ShenZhen. It’s so easy to go to Hong Kong. It is made to sound like a weekend trip. We took 2 nights and 3 days.

To begin with, yes, the train to Hong Kong is very short. I have been on subway rides longer. It is a 15 minute train ride from downtown Shen Zhen. We sat in a nice, comfortable train, but there is no time to relax. By time you get comfortable in your chair, you have arrived.

Immigration takes about an hour, just like in an airport. Possibly longer than an hour. I know Hong Kong belongs to China, but you still have to go through Customs and Immigration.

There are lots of arguments about Hong Kong and China. From my observations, it is not treated as a part of China, but is treated as a colony of China. You have to go through Immigration between the two, even if you are Chinese. Hong Kong has it’s own Money. Chinese Drivers drive like Americans, on the right, Hong Kongers (Hong Kongnese?) drive on the left. The have different flags. You get the idea. Hong Kong is a country, but it belongs to the Chinese Government.

It’s similar to Canada still being part of the Commonwealth of the UK.

My family made the mistake of getting a hotel room in Kowloon.Yes, that Kowloon. It is no longer a Walled city, but the building we stayed in at least still felt like the mega structure of the past. It was however, mostly Indian and Filipino residents running everything in the building.

Our hotel was a “Guest House” on the 15th floor of a building. This guest house had 18 rooms. There were 5 guest houses on each floor of the building. There was also inside the building: streets and alleys, that led to shops, restaurants, money exchanges, and more on each floor.It felt like a mini city inside this building.

The region around our building was similarly cramped outside in the street. The buildings were uncomfortably close, and the alleys on the ground level were filled with shops. Even the local Mall (Across from the building we were staying in) had everything uncomfortably close.

I know this is not how most of the city of Hong Kong is, we did visit a couple other areas. We went to Victoria Park, and relaxed there for a few hours. And we took a 45 minute yacht ride around the bay.

We will not stay in Kowloon again and I will explain why below.

As you may all know by know, My family is a Spectrum Family. We are all on the Autistic Spectrum at some spot. One of the disadvantages of this, is the emotional weight. Some of us, are empathic. The emotions of others nearby can be felt by us. More people, more weight.

On our second day there, everyone was on edge. We ended up spending half the day locked in our tiny guest room. There were 5 of us in an 11m square room.

We had tried the Mall nearby earlier, but it was too much, and we had shaky hands, as we tried to regulate. We had tempers flaring at each other, we had lots of stimming. We all needed to escape.

Honestly, the best part of the trip for my family was the yacht ride. My Sister in Law set it up for us. Yes it was a full boat. But everyone’s emotions on the boat were positive. We got to see the beautiful night sky line of Hong Kong. We got to talk, take pictures, and the yacht supplied free drinks and snacks.

It was so relaxing, I was disappointed it wasn’t a longer trip. But good things must come to an end.

My family learned some important things on this trip:

  • It’s okay to take time to yourself, and go slow, even when time is limited.
  • You can find good places in anywhere you go, if you look.
  • Be patient with those you love, when they are overwhelmed.
  • Bring your noise canceling ear plugs when traveling.
  • Indian food is the Mexican food of Asia: Tastes good going in, but hurts coming out.
  • Bring cash. Chinese Payment Apps do not work in Hong Kong.