There is a common expression that irks me. “Rules are made to be broken.” I am sure you can guess why. I firmly believe it should be something like “Records are meant to be broken” (Please don’t break my LPs).

On Monday an amusing thing happened and I had to explain this concept to one of our Senior Staff. On Monday we had our Art Expo Gallery Event. The children have been preparing their art to put on display. On Monday afternoon, that had a lot of Art related activities including a Gallery Walk.

Before the Gallery Walk we introduced the Rules of a Gallery. Our Art teacher prepared a video and slide show for us to go over with our class. The Rules are simple, and for use in a real Museum or Art Gallery.

• Do not touch the art.
• Stay back behind the barriers
• Let others around you see the art. (Don’t block the way)
• Quiet.
• No photos.
• No eating near the art.

Shortly after this, one of my autistic students noticed our Head of School walking around near our classroom. They took out their Phone to take pictures of the Art. My student immediately went outside and quietly talked with the School head. I did not hear what he was saying, but then I was approached, respectfully, to ask about the rules. Apparently my student has asked him not to take pictures of the art.

I wanted to laugh, and it took me a moment to respond. I informed him that these were the rules set up by the Head Art Teacher. Then I asked him to follow the rules. He thanked me and left. When I was eating lunch, later, I finally got the words to explain, and sent him a message.

You see in most autistic heads, a rule is a rule. If there are exceptions, it is not a rule. We can and do learn about exceptions and the reason behind them, but when we are young it is hard. Autistic children will get stuck on analyzing what the exceptions are. They wonder if what they are going to do fits into those classifications. They will not ever be sure if what they are doing is alright, or not.

If they do it and nobody catches them, it reinforces their belief. They think this must be one of the exceptions. Then they are caught doing it wrong later. They get confused. They have to go back to trying to figure out what is ok and what is not.

In a school setting where rules may differ from home, this can cause a lot of confusion.

Children are not the only ones lost by this. Rules are created for a reason. In our minds, there must be a reason for these rules. Often they are safety, and following them will keep us from harm. Sometimes they are respectful, and disobeying will cause someone to be angry with us. No autistic person wants this, it does not “run off our backs like a duck.” Rules can be there to protect things, like our history, or other people’s property. We don’t want others breaking our things, and so empathize with them.

There are so many times, where my Mask and My need for following rules have clashed. Other Autists have this issue to. We often feel pressure to fit in and look like everyone else. This is how we keep our Mask up. But when everyone else is breaking a clearly stated Rule, it drives us nuts.

When I was studying to be a teacher, I had to deal with this. In the Men’s bathroom was this big no Smoking Sign. Daily, there was people standing next to it, or leaning against it smoking. I would ask them to go outside to smoke. The common argument was they didn’t want to go down to the first floor to smoke. Eventually, the building allowed smoking on the Fire Escape at the higher floors. We were on the 4th floor.

I handled this by going down to the 3rd floor. Alternatively, I would go up to the 5th floor to use the bathroom. This of course made people see me in a negative light. I was being a snob.

One of my early Schools actually had a fire. The auditorium caught fire. Did we follow the Fire escape plan we had practiced over and over again? Did we call the fire department? No. The fire had taken out the fire alarm for that building. Local Teachers were herding kids back into their buildings to not miss class. and the PE teachers began getting the fire hose out to put out an electrical fire.

I did my best to keep staff and teachers out of the building, and herd them to the safe zone. Two other foreigners did the same. I was so upset. Teachers and children could have died. The school was only worried about their test scores and reputation. They ordered us not to talk about it again.

I am glad I left that school.

Rules are here for a reason. And that reason isn’t so you can break them to look cool. They are not a challenge to accept. They are not there for fun.