Have you (talking to my Autist Friends) ever get so focused on something your mask slips? It has happened several times for me, but I believe I just watched my youngest daughter go through it.

One of the things about masks is you spend a lot of time an energy trying to hide your sensitivities. If you are sensitive to sound, you spend a lot of time trying not to be. If you are touch sensitive, you try hard not to let the sensations bother you. And when you are young, you may not even know you are doing it.

My daughter has, in the past complained about different sensations. She will tell me or my wife, something is spicy, or something is scratchy, or something is too loud. Up until recently, my wife has responded with “No it’s not.” and that was the end of it. Sometimes it would end with my daughter in tears, sometimes she would just take that and leave. My response has always been one of empathy until the loud crying comes.

Once the crying comes I have to move her to her bedroom to cry it out. I can’t handle the noise like I used to. She walks with me. Then I will help her become more comfortable when she is coherent again. My wife has gotten much better at understanding these sensitivities, but she still has a way to go. and I recognize, that it is not easy for her either.

Anyways back to the story. My daughter and I where doing homework. She worked her way through the Math. Grade 1 Mental Math is more than she can usually get through on her own. She was getting a bit antsy. Then she started working on her Chinese Reading. She will be performing a story in a couple weeks, and needs to know her lines. So we asked her brother to help. My Mandarin is terrible.

She has been doing homework for about an hour now. So here she was focusing heavily on her reading with her brother, and she starts scratching. She looks a bit confused. “Daddy when I am reading Chinese My clothes feel scratchy.”

She was so drained, due to her homework she couldn’t keep her touch sensitivity in check. She finished the reading and then magically, her clothes stopped being itchy.

It was amusing to watch and know that feeling, but it’s not something she can understand yet.

This happens when an autist is tired, or worn out. We just can’t keep our mask up. This is why as we get older we “revert” back to more autistic traits being prominent. We just don’t have the energy anymore. Children get this way with homework, or other activities that drain energy.

In the case of my youngest, she does typically an easy homework when she gets home (Phonics in her case, and sometimes reading). Then after dinner the harder ones, like math and Chinese.

By The Way: I am not a big fan of multiple hour homework at Grade 1. I am not a fan (as a parent and a teacher) of ANY homework at Grade 1.