As previously mentioned, I have been under a lot of stress lately. Some of it professional, some of it personal. I have been weathering it pretty well, considering. I have some good friends at work I can talk to about my difficulties. Some of the administrators in my school know what’s happening, or parts of it. And some are just really kind people. Some are completely ignorant, or if they do know, they just don’t care.

When I started this school year, I promised myself I would focus a lot more on my mental health and try to not be stressed about a lot of things. I do my job, and then I go home to my family, and spend time with them, because that is important to me, especially nowadays.

One of the difficulties I am having, is I am ADHD. A few friends know this, a few guessed. And what this means, is that the more things that get piled on my plate, the more stressed I get, the less energy I have to actually do anything. This leads me to sit in silence sometimes at my desk. I try all my tricks to focus, listen to music, take periodic breaks. Make lists of what needs to get done.

The thing is, because I am trying not to overstress, and I am having a hard time focusing on my work. I am slower at my work. Which has lead to someone at my school to complain that I am “Too relaxed” and “Not focused” enough. Of course these comments make me more stressed, and sap my energy even more.

Here’s where I am at, and maybe some of you have the same problems. For each source of stress I have, my mind needs a separate side project to de-stress. one project does not cure all issues, each project helps me calm down and not scream from one stress source.

So I have several projects on the go. And each time my mind jumps to another problem, I switch projects, and one gets set aside. None of them get finished until the source of stress disappears. Right now, these are my current “projects”

• Classroom Puttering (Rearranging posters, moving boxes in the back, and trying to read in my rocking chair, things that have no actual effect on the room.)
• Diary of Julius Valarian (Keeping the diary updated, and writing new chapter/months)
• Sorting and reorganizing D&D Magic Items into easy to use cards.
• Rewriting (Yes you read that right) the monsters from the D&D 5E Monster Manual into a more “Monstrous Compendium” format to be printed out and added to the binder.
• Converting BECMI Races / Classes to 5E
• Retyping the Mystara Gazetteers and editing them for 5e.
• Reorganizing my diary. I haven’t written in it for months, but I keep flipping through it, hoping I will have inspiration.
• Trying to Plan out my next week of Work. (Rarely successful)
• Re-Organizing my Homework System for Next year. (Requires going back over the last 3 years’ worth of homework.

There are honestly days that I just want to stay in bed, but I can’t yet. I am needed by my family to go out and take care of everything. I used to destress with board games or card games, but my teenagers no longer wish to play, and my youngest is too young for most of my games. So I am left in Limbo for a while longer.