asia

Hong Kong

Autism, Family, travel, , , , , , Leave a comment

Earlier this week, my family and I took the fabled train to Hong Kong. It was one of the things everyone tells your about ShenZhen. It’s so easy to go to Hong Kong. It is made to sound like a weekend trip. We took 2 nights and 3 days.

To begin with, yes, the train to Hong Kong is very short. I have been on subway rides longer. It is a 15 minute train ride from downtown Shen Zhen. We sat in a nice, comfortable train, but there is no time to relax. By time you get comfortable in your chair, you have arrived.

Immigration takes about an hour, just like in an airport. Possibly longer than an hour. I know Hong Kong belongs to China, but you still have to go through Customs and Immigration.

There are lots of arguments about Hong Kong and China. From my observations, it is not treated as a part of China, but is treated as a colony of China. You have to go through Immigration between the two, even if you are Chinese. Hong Kong has it’s own Money. Chinese Drivers drive like Americans, on the right, Hong Kongers (Hong Kongnese?) drive on the left. The have different flags. You get the idea. Hong Kong is a country, but it belongs to the Chinese Government.

It’s similar to Canada still being part of the Commonwealth of the UK.

My family made the mistake of getting a hotel room in Kowloon.Yes, that Kowloon. It is no longer a Walled city, but the building we stayed in at least still felt like the mega structure of the past. It was however, mostly Indian and Filipino residents running everything in the building.

Our hotel was a “Guest House” on the 15th floor of a building. This guest house had 18 rooms. There were 5 guest houses on each floor of the building. There was also inside the building: streets and alleys, that led to shops, restaurants, money exchanges, and more on each floor.It felt like a mini city inside this building.

The region around our building was similarly cramped outside in the street. The buildings were uncomfortably close, and the alleys on the ground level were filled with shops. Even the local Mall (Across from the building we were staying in) had everything uncomfortably close.

I know this is not how most of the city of Hong Kong is, we did visit a couple other areas. We went to Victoria Park, and relaxed there for a few hours. And we took a 45 minute yacht ride around the bay.

We will not stay in Kowloon again and I will explain why below.

As you may all know by know, My family is a Spectrum Family. We are all on the Autistic Spectrum at some spot. One of the disadvantages of this, is the emotional weight. Some of us, are empathic. The emotions of others nearby can be felt by us. More people, more weight.

On our second day there, everyone was on edge. We ended up spending half the day locked in our tiny guest room. There were 5 of us in an 11m square room.

We had tried the Mall nearby earlier, but it was too much, and we had shaky hands, as we tried to regulate. We had tempers flaring at each other, we had lots of stimming. We all needed to escape.

Honestly, the best part of the trip for my family was the yacht ride. My Sister in Law set it up for us. Yes it was a full boat. But everyone’s emotions on the boat were positive. We got to see the beautiful night sky line of Hong Kong. We got to talk, take pictures, and the yacht supplied free drinks and snacks.

It was so relaxing, I was disappointed it wasn’t a longer trip. But good things must come to an end.

My family learned some important things on this trip:

  • It’s okay to take time to yourself, and go slow, even when time is limited.
  • You can find good places in anywhere you go, if you look.
  • Be patient with those you love, when they are overwhelmed.
  • Bring your noise canceling ear plugs when traveling.
  • Indian food is the Mexican food of Asia: Tastes good going in, but hurts coming out.
  • Bring cash. Chinese Payment Apps do not work in Hong Kong.

Culture Confusion.

Daily Life, Memoires, Musings, Stories, , Leave a comment

On our last day of school for the year we had an assembly, like we do every year. This year two grade five girls got a chance to show off their dance ability. It was marked on screen as Jazz Dance, but it was not jazz.

These two girls got up and did a dance very much inspired by K-Pop singers. My co-workers used the term twerking, but I don’t completely know what that means. There was discussion about how appropriate this was. And this brought back memories of conversations I have had in the past since moving to Asia.

My comment, which I voiced at the time: It’s their bodies & their fashion. He reluctantly agreed, but felt his voice should be heard.

Kindergarten Chaos.

Many years ago, I worked at a Kindergarten in Korea. for their year end event, the children performed a dance. It was a traditional dance. The boys were bare chested with sparkly vests and sparkly pants. The girls were wearing a skin-color shirt under a sparkly bra and sparkly shorts.

To my mind they looked like Las Vegas dancers in training. But I kept my mouth shut about it. Why? The parents had been involved with the costume selection, and dance routines. If the parents were happy to see their child in this outfit, in this context, then who was I to push my views on them.

Clothing.

Years later, a previous school I worked at held a charity bazaar. I love charity bazaars, or charity sales. The atmosphere is always very positive.

At this bazaar, a group of 4 of our middle school girls got up on stage and did a dance. It was a high energy, choreographed dance. (K-Pop inspired). A young teacher from California was sitting with me and he commented on the clothing the girls were wearing. Tight jeans, one I think had shorts, white t-shirts, and tank tops. He felt it was inappropriate for them to be dancing in such revealing clothes.

This year

I am not really a fan of K-Pop dancing. I have enjoyed some of the music, but don’t like the dance. Why? I get dizzy watching it. It takes a lot of training and energy to do, and I do not have the balance for this. When I see dancing, I imagine trying it in my head, and I feel like I will fall over. I don’t like this as it gives me a headache.

Not the reason most people expect.

I just cannot watch it. I do not judge the girls, or boys, who can dance this. I respect their ability and dedication. Is it twerking? I don’t know. I still don’t understand that term. Is it sexual? Some will think so. But I am then reminded of the movie Footloose (With Kevin Bacon). The town felt all dancing was sexual. I am not going to be the judge of what this generation feels is, or is not, sexual.

Any adult, who watches teenagers dance and feel strange things below, get help, please.

In my culture certain things are taboo. In Asian culture they are not. My wife enjoys watching this style of dancing. She used to dance it, as did her sisters, and her brother. My youngest daughter (Grade 1) will lock herself in her room to dance to videos. It’s great exercise.

Empowerment.

I was reading about, and watching videos about culture lately. One thing brought up was specifically, Japanese Girls fashion. And then I found similar notes about dance in Korea.

It is seen as a way to promote female empowerment. Girls here dress and dance in ways that would be considered extremely taboo in North America. They do these things to push against the old traditions of how Men got to dictate what they wore or how they moved. They do this to push against the quiet, modest stereotype of the older generations.
These girls, and women rightfully feel that they should be able to express themselves without people telling them what to wear or do. They are not hurting anyone. They are not asking for men to treat them or react to them in any special way. Quite the opposite, they are telling men to stop treating them or reacting to them in a certain way.

My final view, has gotten me in trouble in the past: If you cannot stop pushing your cultural values on the people here, maybe you shouldn’t be here.

North America is not the pinnacle of world culture. We love to think we are, but we are not. What is appropriate in Canada, or the USA, might not be alright here in Asia. And Vice Versa.

Where I do draw the line…

I do have a line though. It involves more comprehension, and it involves my autistic mind.

I love music. And when I listen to music, I cannot help but focus on the lyrics. I understand many people do not do this. I also understand that when people here listen to western songs, they often do not know what the lyrics mean. However, It irks me to see children singing or dancing along to songs about violence, sexual assault, cheating, or other immoral activities. I have been known to tell the adults in the child’s life what the song is about, r just to let the child know that the song has a bad meaning, without going into details. This extends to any media.

I have had enough children over my years in Asia try to copy the language used in an action movie or a rap song to practice from. these well meaning children use swear words and slang that they don’t understand, which makes me clinch.

I had a group of students 20 years ago who spoke mostly in quotes they heard from a counter-strike game. It was frustrating explaining to them that “Game over” did not mean they get to try again. Or that “taking someone out” was not an appropriate term to use while playing with someone in the playground.

Or a friend of mine who was trying to get over her boyfriend who cheated on her by listening to Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” over and over again… That was an awkward conversation.

This is when I get irked. Not by fashion, or dance, neither of which I fully comprehend. And so I try my best to understand the music I listen to. I will often ask my friends and coworkers about the meaning of songs.

Memoires – My First Time in Japan

Memoires, Musings, , , , , Leave a comment

Every Monday I go to a Men’s group. This group meets for coffee, and we discuss life through the context of the Bible. I have shared a lot of stories about my life with these guys. One of them the other day recommended I start putting some of the stories of my life and adventures down.

Now, I have put several childhood experiences relating to Autism down here. I, however, realized I have not spent much time on my wanderings. So Here I go.

My first Trip to Japan.

I used to live in Korea. Several places in South Korea. In 2001, I was living in Pusan, the second biggest city. While there, I discovered there was a ferry from Pusan Harbor to Hakata, Japan. There were 2 options actually, the Hydrofoil took 3 hours, and the Cargo ship was an overnight experience. They were the same price. I decided I would go, by using the Hydrofoil.

I went on the internet and reserved a hotel. The Green Hotel, if I remember correctly. and I pulled money from the ATM near the harbor. I got on the hydrofoil just after lunch, and the speed of the boat was great. I have always loved the feel of the ocean. About an hour in, I realized I didn’t exchange any money from Won to Yen. I went to the store on the boat to ask if they did money exchanges.

The store told me no. They however did give me some advice. There is an ATM in the Harbor. And if that didn’t work, there was an international Hotel that did international exchanges. So I was happy, and went back to enjoy my trip and watch the ocean bounce by under us.

When we arrived at the Harbor I walked around. The thing I always enjoyed about going to new places is walking around. I put my headphones on and went looking for the ATM. Found it. “Great” I thought and put my card in, or tried to.

It was at this moment I made a discovery. The domestic Bank Cards from Korea had their embossed numbering offset from the rest of the world. The card would not physically go into the machine. I tried many different times. (This would come back to haunt me in later trips as well).

So I only have the money I pulled from my bank back in Pusan. I decide, ok, I need to find that international Hotel. I headed back to the harbor and grabbed one of the area street maps from the information desk. Then I started walking. The map was bilingual, so I could read it. But my direction sense is not great in new places.

I walked through some beautiful shopping plazas, and along a river, and I really enjoyed the walk. However, I got lost. Some older women saw me looking at the map and came up to help. They spoke no English. The map was bilingual, so I pointed where I wanted to go and they helped me get there.

I finally got to the international hotel, and walked in. I went straight to the information desk inside. They happily informed me that they did convert money from the major international currencies. The Euro and the US Dollar were used as examples. They did not accept Korean Won.

So I was in Japan for the first time, and I had no money. There was no hydrofoil leaving until the next day. However, my ticket was for Sunday, the day after. I couldn’t check into my hotel or even buy myself a snack. I instead decide to just walk around and sight see. So I put my headphones back on and did exactly that.

When it was near dusk, I found myself at Hakata Train station, and I sat down. An older gentleman came up to me and asked if I was ok in English. I told him what was happening and that I was just going to rest there on a bench for the night. He sat down. He was a retired English teacher who had come here to get something. He told me that someone had stolen his car (Turned out to be his bicycle). So he was stuck too. He was too far from home to walk, and wouldn’t be able to get a cab home at this hour. We sat and talked for a bit.

When the sun went down, we were joined by a young lady. She had to wait for the morning train home. She had just returned to Japan from abroad and didn’t have hotel money. So the three of us sat and talked for a bit.

I know so far 3 random people meeting that can speak together in Japan is odd, but it gets odder. About 30 minutes after sunset, a group of homeless men appeared. Or maybe they were just drunks. They came out from somewhere and approached us. My 2 new Japanese friends translated our situation. The men pooled their money together and went to a 7-Eleven nearby. When they returned they had Sake for all of us, and some finger foods. We sat up until close to Mid-night with these guys, drinking and eating and sharing stories. This was the first and last time I had sake. I am not a drinker. However, I felt it would be rude to turn it away. They were buying me food and drink to share with everyone. They were honestly just trying to be kind.

The girl and I fell asleep against a large rock. Nobody bothered us.

When I woke up, she headed into the station for her morning train home. The teacher and the drunk men were gone. So I got up and headed back to the Harbor. There, I asked the ticketing agent if I would be able to exchange my ticket for an earlier boat back to Korea. They happily exchanged it for me.

When I returned to Korea, I went to a Lotteria (Korean Burger Joint) right away and ate. After that, I went home to sleep the rest of the day away.

This first trip, despite not being what I had planned made me fall in love with Japan. Everyone I met there was so kind. (Yes, even the money exchange, who could not sell me Yen was polite.)

I was just looking through my old photo albums, and unfortunately the photos are all corrupted. I will check my back up drive later and see if there are any on there.

Anyways, I will periodically tell you all about some of my other adventures traveling around Asia. I hope you enjoyed going down Memory Lane with me.