Yesterday I was walking just outside the Metrotown Mall in Burnaby B.C. I was late for a meeting, so I was powerwalking as I do, when this man came up to me. He was dressed very casually, not dirty clothes like he was homeless, but not clean. He looked like he had just been out on a hot day hanging out. He asked in a very police voice if I had any extra change for him to buy Ice cream with. I quickly said that I was unable to help him right now and continued on my way. As I passed him I heard him scream out “I WANT ICE-CREAM!” in frustration.

This incident has made me think about the people I give help to, and I do. I have doggy-bagged food to people who needed it in Vancouver while I was downtown, and a couple of bucks to people who looked like they needed it for food, here in Surrey. I give to charity groups when I can, which is not often. I even get the children to give if I am with them. (I give Sammy & JD a buck each and have them go and give it to the person). In my mind Ice cream is not a reason to be donating money to a 30 to 40 year old man for.

I have made appoint over my life to give when I can, because I have had to sleep in the street in my past, and can guess what it is like to be in that position on a long term basis. My first time sleeping in the street was in Korea. I had taken the train from Pusan to Seoul during my first trip to Korea. I got to the City after midnight and the buses had all stopped. So I walked to the area north of the train station to where the Canadian Embassy was, and had to sleep on a bench that night. This was the time I had had my apartment emptied by an angry ex-employer. The next morning the Canadian Embassy helped me by contacting my family and arranging for my flight back to Canada.

My second time that I was forced to sleep outside was a much more positive experience, I had taken the boat over to Japan from Korea, I had gone to extend my visa. When I got on the boat, I had asked the crew of the boat if they knew where I could exchange my money from Korean to Japanese, they did not. When I got off the boat I spent the day trying to find a place to exchange my money, and I could not find a place as the Korean Won is not an international currency. (So I found out). By the end of the day I realized I could not pay for my hotel reservation, and had slumped down at the local Subway / Train station in Hakata.

A Japanese man walked over to me and sat down, and with his broken English asked me what was wrong. So I talked to him for a while. He was having a bad day too. Someone had stolen his bicycle, and he couldn’t go home until he reported it to the police in the morning. (He lived to far away to walk at night) So he, myself, a group of 4 homeless Japanese men, and a young lady who had just returned from India, and was waiting for the trains to run again in the morning, sat together, pooled what we had and managed to scrape enough together to by some ichiban noodles and sake from the 7-11. We sat and talked and (The girl and the 1^st man translated for me) and I had never felt safer with a group of strangers in my life. The next day I took the boat back to Korea. I returned the following week with my money already converted and extended my visa with no problems.

In China I would see a lot of people begging for money and they usually have a sign scrawled down in front of them explaining their situation, or they are street musicians or something. These people I have helped when I can. I remember a case that I had just bought our first family DVD Player, and was walking back to the house with it. A young college age lady wearing designer clothes and carrying an iPhone came up to me and asked if I spoke Chinese. I responded that I don’t, and then she said with a sad voice “I’m hungry” and held out her hand. Now I realize that she could very well have been in need. But after seeing that she had expensive clothes on and an expensive phone in her hand, I said “Sorry, I don’t have anything to give” and continued on my way home. I saw that same girl a few months later, helping out at one of the many food stands along that road. Wearing not so expensive things, and I thought. “good for you.”

Just a few months ago here in Surrey, Irish and I had gone to the local Walmart to buy a few things, including cough syrup, and for reasons beyond this article’s scope, all of our cards were rejected. We felt embarrassed, and apologised to the cashier and told her we’d be back. A man behind us offered to pay for our things. This was really sweet of him, and I declined his offer. I told him that for us it was just a minor setback and we’d be ok, but that he should help someone who was more in need than we were.

I am aware that my few times being stuck on the street for the night could have turned out very bad for me, and I feel blessed that they didn’t. I also feel bad for the people who actually need help, like in China, where there is no Social Assistance for people hurt on the job, or lose their job for unexpected things. I am however upset at people who try to take advantage of that charity in other for ice-cream or because they believe they deserve a hand out. I don’t want people to just give us help, and for those of you who have helped us over the years, I want you to know that I have been keeping track and I am budgeting out a way to pay you all back. Even if you don’t expect it we will repay your kindness somehow.

This afternoon we will be finishing off and sending out the last paperwork needed for us to be leaving. The RCMP certificate of no criminal record. We’ll be scanning everything, E-mailing it and then Priority posting the original documents that we collected. Once that is done with we will have to buy our plane ticket. Once that is done, we will be ready for our trip.

Irish and I have been flip-flopping about how we feel about this trip, some days we are excited by the idea of going back, some days we are sad about leaving Canada again. We look forward to indoor playgrounds for the kids that are affordable, and have more than just iPads attached to the walls. (Guildford picture here). Irish is going to miss the Philippine stores and the Grocery stores here, where we can get all sorts of food from around the world. I am looking forward to working with my old group of teachers again. Irish & I both miss Joy City, a mall near our house with a fake city on top that the children can role-play different jobs and learn about different careers at. I am going to miss my family, and friends again. We know it won’t be forever, and we have promised ourselves that Canada will be our permanent location, we just need to get the paperwork cleared out of the way.

A lot of people have offered advice or options for us since we announced that we will be going back, and we appreciate the offers. Even with our flip-flop feelings, we know that this must be done. China is not as terrifying a place as a lot of people in North America believe it is. They have malls, good schools, friendly people and to Joe citizen, it is much like living in Canada, except that everything feels a bit closer. Each area actually feels like its own community, which is nice and the violent crime rate is almost 0.Yes the government has its issues. There is a huge difference between the rich and the poor, the rich are generally corrupt. They believe in censorship. And there is a lot of traffic problems. They are over internet-ized, and have different family culture than we do. Nothing dangerous to Average Joe there.

In general we are not scared to go back, we are just going to miss the things and people we know here. I am trying to update this on a more regular basis, and call people more often to calm fears. We are here for another month, and would like to see or hear from any that we can.

I was looking over the Comics Code, and I thought to myself, Self, Why did we get rid of this? If more media or people followed even part of the comic book code I think we’d be a better society. For your benefit the code can be found here: http://www.comicartville.com/comicscode.htm

The code just breaks down what is morally right and wrong, and lays it out. I don’t know how many times I’ve had conversations with friends or students and they ask me why I won’t play games like GTA (Grand Theft Auto), or watch movies like Fast & Furious, or the like, and I tell them it’s because it glorifies crime. Why do we feel the need to glorify the worst parts of our society?

I have had immediate responses (almost programmed responses I would say) “Video games don’t cause crime” or “Movies don’t cause crime” I didn’t say it causes crime, but it makes it ok to fantasize about killing or robbing or stealing. And when people fantasize about doing things they know are wrong, they start to ask “Well, why is it wrong?” and this is when the people who don’t have the social support of good friends or family start to cause problems for society.

Now I’m not saying that the code is perfect, for example Section B # 1 could be removed, (No comic magazine shall use the word horror or terror in its title.) because those 2 words, “Horror” and “Terror” don’t scare anymore, but they do warn.  Section C “Marriage & Sex” # 7 (Sex perversion or any inference to same is strictly forbidden.) is too vague and if we’re not allowing sex period, (especially in children’s comics, unlike naked Thor: ) it should be removed, even if we PDA (public displays of Affection) it should be for all. I  digress, My point is: If the people we look up to on TV, or our children to look up to are drug dealers, thieves, and murderers what does that say about us as a society?

I want to express that I am not for organized censorship. But I wish the directors and writers would think about these things as they write. A lot of people believe they are just mirroring our society on TV, but in most cases they directly affect our society and how we think or feel. If children repeatedly see the police as the enemy in movies and TV, then of course they won’t go to them for help, like we should be teaching our kids.

Now if we held this code of conduct to our regular lives, we wouldn’t be having as many difficulties.