When I first returned to Canada I had to do a couple of days work as a day labourer at a steel factory. While there the main boss asked me my opinion of children these days, and of course I told him that kids now are so much better behaved than we were. He called me a liar. I think it is human nature for people to automatically assume their childhood was better than the current generation’s childhood. It is hard to look at childhood objectively as an adult, we tend to remember the good times, not the bad, and yet when we look at the kids today we see the whole picture.

I’d like to set something that is hard for some adults to grasp. Being a kid hasn’t changed. Children still go through the same types of difficulty that we did, and our grandparents did. No matter how many Pink-shirts we wear, there is always going to be kids who bully other kids. There will always be kids that find peace in solitude, or in social gatherings. There will always be kids that are good at sports, and kids that are not. Children still look up to their elders for guidance (We did too, just a lot of kids were not getting guidance when we were young.) They still try to learn about their world. They still believe they know more than their parents.

30 years ago if one of your parents had to travel for work, you saw him once every few weeks or months. He had no parenting influence over you at all. Nowadays, if 1 parent is away, you can still see them daily via skype, or other networking media. They can still help you with homework, and sometimes do. You can still share life with each other. Now there are still parents who refuse to learn such new fandangled technology, but that is like our parents learning to program a VCR’s time. (If you don’t remember VCRs then maybe this article is for people older than you). Kids used to play Super Mario brothers and Street Fighter and Grand Turismo Auto Racing, now they play Super Mario 10, and Mortal Kombat 10 and GTA. We used to sit on the phone talking to our friends (or sitting in silence with them on the line), now they text message each other all the time (on the phone).

What has changed is the world in which the kids are being raised. Parents are becoming more social warriors, and less parents. Most parents work, and with the Canadian economy the way it is, it’s not surprising. But what this means is that in a lot of households, no-one is there to guide the kids afterschool. So instead parents (sometimes) get involved where they can, by advocating anti-bullying days, instead of teaching your kids what is right and wrong and to respect others feelings. They become one-day-heroes, trying to make up for the lost time with a school trip or too. (Our parents did likewise). We as parents do our best to make up for the lost time. And it has become easier to do so in the modern world.

Kids today are being raised in a friendlier, safer, more connected world, and it has had a positive effect on them in comparison to our childhood. They are better educated, have more moral support and have more positive influences than we did. As a result they make fewer mistakes relating to drugs and sex. The awareness of other cultures, orientation, gender and lifestyles has led to less racism, homophobia, sexism, and misinformed bullying. I, as a parent and a teacher am proud of the world we are building for our children, and am looking forward to making it even better as we go.

Trust is possibly the most important thing to have in an advanced society as ours. Trust in other people to do their part, trust in the knowledge that others have. Trust in our society to help those who need it. Trust is absolutely essential to the continued growth of the human race, and its absence is also why I believe our modern society is devolving.

Technological advances have helped us become more self centered, (how many selfies did you take this morning?) and “self-reliant”. I put the last bit in quotes because it is not real self-reliance, we have learned to trust our phones and computers more than other people around us. It is truly sad. We need people to help society. Computers don’t need a society, they have networks.

Last week, for an example, I was sitting at the bus stop and someone had just left the doctors, they had a prescription of something in a bottle. They were staring at their phone, which they had looked up the medication online. I heard them say something along the lines of “I don’t need this” and they tossed the medicine. Now I know that your body is yours and you get to choose what you put into it. However, while you’re at the doctor, why not ask them questions about the meds? If you disagree then the doctor can explain why you need it or if there is alternatives. Doesn’t that sound better than waiting 20 minutes, googling it, reading the first article you find and throwing away something that could be beneficial?

We used to trust that people could do their jobs, whether it was Lawyers, Doctors, Plumbers or Electricians. We would recognize that these people went to school for years to learn to do more than what I find in a 15 minute google search. Now we view these people as greedy. Why trust a lawyer, they’re just going to steal your money. (Hollywood has not helped in this) I’ll just do it myself and fail. (You can replace any profession with this).

We are taught nowadays that everyone is out there just for personal gain, nobody does it for the benefit of others. Well I was raised differently. It is not foolish to believe that someone who has more knowledge and experience in a subject is better than I am at doing things. Admittedly these are still people and I trust that some mistakes will be made, but I trust that they are just that, mistakes. Doctors misdiagnose people a lot less often than plumbers do, and plumbers misplumb houses a lot less often than doctors do.

I know this can be hard for a lot to do, but – If you cannot trust someone, then don’t associate with them. I refuse to be friends with people I can’t trust. If I believe a mechanic or lawyer is not trustworthy, I’ll find a different one. I can’t stand to even hold a conversation with people who mistrust everyone, the conspiracy theorist. The seriously paranoid theorists mistrust everyone, but want everyone to trust them when they tell you things. Trust is a two way street, if I can’t trust you, I’m sure you don’t trust me.

It is important to find people that you can trust, if you cannot trust someone to be honest with you, don’t give them your business. Find an alternative, and if you feel you can’t trust anyone, then maybe the problem isn’t external it’s internal. In which case doing some soul searching might be a good idea. Keep your eyes peeled for signs that someone is trustworthy or not, they are there. Most of the time we ignore the blatantly obvious signs. But don’t kick yourself for it, just pick yourself up, move on, find someone you can trust. Not everyone is trustworthy, but if you can’t tell the difference and believe everyone is untrustworthy, then you will suffer from a very lonely life. Keep your eyes open for these scoundrels and fraudsters. If you can see them coming you can avoid using their services.

I hear a lot lately “Honesty is the best policy” If that were true we would have a lot more wars. There are a lot of times that I need to trust the people around me to keep my secrets, or to say what needs to be said. Honesty tends to destroy self-esteems, and cause depression. You need to trust that people know when to say the right thing, and that the right thing is not always the stone cold honest truth. Honesty is a good policy, but it’s alright to bend the truth for the sake of empathy.

I was thinking of the old adage “Trust has to be earned.” And I disagree. I feel that trust and respect should be given upon 1^st meet. After that it is the recipient’s job to keep both. Don’t trust someone that has proven themselves untrustworthy. Proven to yourself or to a friend. We don’t work for people that don’t trust us, or at least I don’t, and won’t again. We also don’t give jobs to people we don’t trust.

Mistrust has run rampant the last 2 decades and I feel it has gotten out of hand. If we can’t start to trust each other again as a society, and prove that we are worthy of trust, we have no future. It’s that simple.

Family is probably the most important thing to me. It’s not important if they are blood relatives, In-laws, or people that I have adopted into my family (you know who you are). They are the most important people in my life. I trust them more than any other people I know, by choice. I don’t like family to fight or be mad at each other, and to me Family is there for each other, whether it be financially, or emotionally.

My family has been getting much bigger lately, and seems to grow every year. I am not going to count them out because that is ridiculous. I do not spend as much time as I should keeping in contact with each of them, not for lack of trying, but because I am lackadaisical in this way. I have no other excuse. I am getting better, but not immensely. This blog is my way of reaching out to each of the people I care about regularly and letting the world know what goes on in this shell I call a cranium.

When 1 of my family asks me for help, I don’t even think about it, I just give what I can. This has always been my way, and I believe it always will be. Some people call this one of my faults, but I believe it is one of my virtues. I will find a way to recuperate after helping. If someone tells me something about my family member I will not believe it until either, I have seen it for myself, or someone closer to the person (that is in the family) tells me.

If someone hurts my family member, I feel like having that person killed, but usually just spend time comforting and trying to help them get back on their feet. This has never been a chore, it has never been something that I dread, or that I get upset with. I do get frustrated when there is someone I am helping, that I feel is taking advantage of my charitable nature, And I never want my family to feel that I am doing that to them. There have been cases when I have had to show favouritism to one family member over the other, but I have decided upon a hierarchy that I believe is fair and would like to share as I feel it is the one most people should follow.

First and foremost trust your wife or husband over any and all others. You chose this person to spend the rest of your life with, you must have had a reason. If you find that you cannot trust them, than you may have made an unwise choice, but still sit with them and talk about situations and give them the benefit of the doubt. I trust my wife explicitly, if she needs something or asks for something for her friend or family member, I trust her that it is for a good cause. If it turns out bad, then at least it was a mistake we made together.

Next trust your children. You should trust your children to tell the truth. Hopefully, you have been raising them to do so, and want them to know that you trust them. EVEN IF YOU CATCH THEM IN A LIE. I never want my children to think that I don’t trust them. I will always trust them. If there is a situation that they could not know about and they make something up to fill in the void. (Come on we all have done this). I ask if they are sure and then offer for both of us to look it up together. I will trust my children over anyone other than my wife.

This layer doesn’t apply to me yet, but I feel that daughter and son-in-laws would be next. By proxy. You raised your children to make good choices (hopefully) they have chosen this person to spend the rest of their life with, make an effort to get along with them. These are the people who will be raising your grandchildren to be good people. Talk to them about situations you feel upset or worried about, especially if it revolves around a decision they made, or that you made that they disagree with.

Trust your brothers, sisters, mother, father, step-father, step-mother and the family you grew up with next (Including best friends from childhood). These are the people who made you who you are today. Trust them with your life. Go to them for help, offer to help them. If they suggest something, take it into serious consideration.

In-laws and step-sisters, cousins or family that you have not known for the majority of your life, maybe just ½ of your life. It’s not that these people are any more or less trustworthy, it’s that in the hierarchy of things (At least in my life), they have had less impact on your life and you should consider those above them in the hierarchy first. Go to these people for help when it is a problem you know they specifically have more knowledge or expertise in the field than the rest of the family.

Then there is the rest of the world. Trust them however you see fit. Some of us are great judges of character, some of us are not when it comes to trusting people. I generally treat people the way I want to be treated, and if I feel like they are not reciprocating I don’t associate with them. But as a general rule, trust and love your family, blood or not. It is better to believe in the best in someone, even if they fail to meet your standards, then to make them feel left out of the family. I cannot stand people who disown immediate-family members, however if you need to disown a cousin or two, go ahead, that’s fine in my book. But only if they are acting like they are not part of the family, not if they are just doing things you don’t like.

I love my family and feel very lucky and proud of the family I have.