Trust is possibly the most important thing to have in an advanced society as ours. Trust in other people to do their part, trust in the knowledge that others have. Trust in our society to help those who need it. Trust is absolutely essential to the continued growth of the human race, and its absence is also why I believe our modern society is devolving.

Technological advances have helped us become more self centered, (how many selfies did you take this morning?) and “self-reliant”. I put the last bit in quotes because it is not real self-reliance, we have learned to trust our phones and computers more than other people around us. It is truly sad. We need people to help society. Computers don’t need a society, they have networks.

Last week, for an example, I was sitting at the bus stop and someone had just left the doctors, they had a prescription of something in a bottle. They were staring at their phone, which they had looked up the medication online. I heard them say something along the lines of “I don’t need this” and they tossed the medicine. Now I know that your body is yours and you get to choose what you put into it. However, while you’re at the doctor, why not ask them questions about the meds? If you disagree then the doctor can explain why you need it or if there is alternatives. Doesn’t that sound better than waiting 20 minutes, googling it, reading the first article you find and throwing away something that could be beneficial?

We used to trust that people could do their jobs, whether it was Lawyers, Doctors, Plumbers or Electricians. We would recognize that these people went to school for years to learn to do more than what I find in a 15 minute google search. Now we view these people as greedy. Why trust a lawyer, they’re just going to steal your money. (Hollywood has not helped in this) I’ll just do it myself and fail. (You can replace any profession with this).

We are taught nowadays that everyone is out there just for personal gain, nobody does it for the benefit of others. Well I was raised differently. It is not foolish to believe that someone who has more knowledge and experience in a subject is better than I am at doing things. Admittedly these are still people and I trust that some mistakes will be made, but I trust that they are just that, mistakes. Doctors misdiagnose people a lot less often than plumbers do, and plumbers misplumb houses a lot less often than doctors do.

I know this can be hard for a lot to do, but – If you cannot trust someone, then don’t associate with them. I refuse to be friends with people I can’t trust. If I believe a mechanic or lawyer is not trustworthy, I’ll find a different one. I can’t stand to even hold a conversation with people who mistrust everyone, the conspiracy theorist. The seriously paranoid theorists mistrust everyone, but want everyone to trust them when they tell you things. Trust is a two way street, if I can’t trust you, I’m sure you don’t trust me.

It is important to find people that you can trust, if you cannot trust someone to be honest with you, don’t give them your business. Find an alternative, and if you feel you can’t trust anyone, then maybe the problem isn’t external it’s internal. In which case doing some soul searching might be a good idea. Keep your eyes peeled for signs that someone is trustworthy or not, they are there. Most of the time we ignore the blatantly obvious signs. But don’t kick yourself for it, just pick yourself up, move on, find someone you can trust. Not everyone is trustworthy, but if you can’t tell the difference and believe everyone is untrustworthy, then you will suffer from a very lonely life. Keep your eyes open for these scoundrels and fraudsters. If you can see them coming you can avoid using their services.

I hear a lot lately “Honesty is the best policy” If that were true we would have a lot more wars. There are a lot of times that I need to trust the people around me to keep my secrets, or to say what needs to be said. Honesty tends to destroy self-esteems, and cause depression. You need to trust that people know when to say the right thing, and that the right thing is not always the stone cold honest truth. Honesty is a good policy, but it’s alright to bend the truth for the sake of empathy.

I was thinking of the old adage “Trust has to be earned.” And I disagree. I feel that trust and respect should be given upon 1^st meet. After that it is the recipient’s job to keep both. Don’t trust someone that has proven themselves untrustworthy. Proven to yourself or to a friend. We don’t work for people that don’t trust us, or at least I don’t, and won’t again. We also don’t give jobs to people we don’t trust.

Mistrust has run rampant the last 2 decades and I feel it has gotten out of hand. If we can’t start to trust each other again as a society, and prove that we are worthy of trust, we have no future. It’s that simple.

Family is probably the most important thing to me. It’s not important if they are blood relatives, In-laws, or people that I have adopted into my family (you know who you are). They are the most important people in my life. I trust them more than any other people I know, by choice. I don’t like family to fight or be mad at each other, and to me Family is there for each other, whether it be financially, or emotionally.

My family has been getting much bigger lately, and seems to grow every year. I am not going to count them out because that is ridiculous. I do not spend as much time as I should keeping in contact with each of them, not for lack of trying, but because I am lackadaisical in this way. I have no other excuse. I am getting better, but not immensely. This blog is my way of reaching out to each of the people I care about regularly and letting the world know what goes on in this shell I call a cranium.

When 1 of my family asks me for help, I don’t even think about it, I just give what I can. This has always been my way, and I believe it always will be. Some people call this one of my faults, but I believe it is one of my virtues. I will find a way to recuperate after helping. If someone tells me something about my family member I will not believe it until either, I have seen it for myself, or someone closer to the person (that is in the family) tells me.

If someone hurts my family member, I feel like having that person killed, but usually just spend time comforting and trying to help them get back on their feet. This has never been a chore, it has never been something that I dread, or that I get upset with. I do get frustrated when there is someone I am helping, that I feel is taking advantage of my charitable nature, And I never want my family to feel that I am doing that to them. There have been cases when I have had to show favouritism to one family member over the other, but I have decided upon a hierarchy that I believe is fair and would like to share as I feel it is the one most people should follow.

First and foremost trust your wife or husband over any and all others. You chose this person to spend the rest of your life with, you must have had a reason. If you find that you cannot trust them, than you may have made an unwise choice, but still sit with them and talk about situations and give them the benefit of the doubt. I trust my wife explicitly, if she needs something or asks for something for her friend or family member, I trust her that it is for a good cause. If it turns out bad, then at least it was a mistake we made together.

Next trust your children. You should trust your children to tell the truth. Hopefully, you have been raising them to do so, and want them to know that you trust them. EVEN IF YOU CATCH THEM IN A LIE. I never want my children to think that I don’t trust them. I will always trust them. If there is a situation that they could not know about and they make something up to fill in the void. (Come on we all have done this). I ask if they are sure and then offer for both of us to look it up together. I will trust my children over anyone other than my wife.

This layer doesn’t apply to me yet, but I feel that daughter and son-in-laws would be next. By proxy. You raised your children to make good choices (hopefully) they have chosen this person to spend the rest of their life with, make an effort to get along with them. These are the people who will be raising your grandchildren to be good people. Talk to them about situations you feel upset or worried about, especially if it revolves around a decision they made, or that you made that they disagree with.

Trust your brothers, sisters, mother, father, step-father, step-mother and the family you grew up with next (Including best friends from childhood). These are the people who made you who you are today. Trust them with your life. Go to them for help, offer to help them. If they suggest something, take it into serious consideration.

In-laws and step-sisters, cousins or family that you have not known for the majority of your life, maybe just ½ of your life. It’s not that these people are any more or less trustworthy, it’s that in the hierarchy of things (At least in my life), they have had less impact on your life and you should consider those above them in the hierarchy first. Go to these people for help when it is a problem you know they specifically have more knowledge or expertise in the field than the rest of the family.

Then there is the rest of the world. Trust them however you see fit. Some of us are great judges of character, some of us are not when it comes to trusting people. I generally treat people the way I want to be treated, and if I feel like they are not reciprocating I don’t associate with them. But as a general rule, trust and love your family, blood or not. It is better to believe in the best in someone, even if they fail to meet your standards, then to make them feel left out of the family. I cannot stand people who disown immediate-family members, however if you need to disown a cousin or two, go ahead, that’s fine in my book. But only if they are acting like they are not part of the family, not if they are just doing things you don’t like.

I love my family and feel very lucky and proud of the family I have.

I have been seeing a lot of things lately about parents worrying about their children not playing outdoors. The parents are always complaining “Woe is me my child won’t leave the video game screen.” Or something along those lines. “Children need to go outside into nature and play” is another cry commonly heard. I just shake my head. Both sets of parents are correct and incorrect.

As adults we look back at sliding on icy hills with crazy carpets, running in the forest from angry bees, camping in the forest after hiking for hours. We remember the positives of these experiences. One of the things we forget, is the why. We didn’t walk out into the cold wrapped in 15 layers of clothes away from our warm TV on the first time by ourselves. We didn’t do it the first 20 times by ourselves. Our parents wrapped us up, took us out and slid down the hill with us. They took us into the forest to show us that it was safe, and fun to play there, they took us camping and frog hunting, and stone skipping. From my experience, a lot of kids are not getting that parent time anymore. This is a sad fact of the new world.

Parents nowadays take the easy way out of things, instead of finding ways to spend time with their kids, they let the TV and Computer raise them. A startling number of children come home to an empty house after school. Who is going to guide them? You even see it on TV advertisements now, Parents installing cameras in the house to watch their kids from work with. Watching is not guiding. Watching is not parenting. Parenting is not a spectator sport.

Parenting is a proactive sport. You want your kids to play outside, take their device away, and take them outside. Take them camping, or hiking, and if you take their device away, do not bring yours. If they have to be outside away from technology, and you are playing Tetris or the like on your phone while with them, it lets them know with no uncertain terms you would rather spend time with your phone than them, and of course they will feel the same way about you.

Take the children outside, on beautiful days, but don’t forget when we were young what did we do on not-so nice days? Final Fantasy, Street Fighter, Duck Hunt, Super Mario. Sit down with your kids and play with them. This is an excellent way for you to spend time, let them know you are not too busy for them, and it gives you time to feel out the games they like to play. If you sit down and play a gory fighting game with your 7 year old, you might realize it is not a good choice, and suggest a more age appropriate game to play together.

We do not have a game system in my house. But I will sit with my children while they are playing their games, and watch them, they love explaining the games to me, and if they need help we take turns playing. I sit through hours of “Edge” a day. My wife does not have the patience for that game as it is literally a glowing cube rolling in a maze of other blocky shapes. But JD and I enjoy it. Ok I hate playing the game, but I enjoy the intricacies of it, and the devious mind of the designer.

If you want your kids to unplug for periods of time, then you must also unplug yourself, and this is a very hard thing for adults to do as well. Especially with the diverseness of devices now. I have found myself, turning off my tablet, only to sit and read a book on my phone. Which is not unplugging myself. Neither is turning off your Computer to go and watch TV. Lead by example, then your kids will be more likely to listen to you.

The crazy thing is, a lot of the games kids enjoy on their computer are available as Table-top variations on the game. I was shocked to find a 3D Plants Vs Zombies game in China, or a table top Bejeweled game. And if it’s not, then with a little creativity, you can make one. I have contemplated buying a batch of building blocks to make an “Edge” level for my son to try on the table, many times, and I will do it after the move.

Parenting should not be thought of as a chore, you should love spending time with your kids, and showing them what you feel is fun, Who knows they might teach you a few things about fun that you forgot in the humdrum life of an adult.