As an adult I am often complemented for my clothes. I have nice work clothes. I like them. But I always have to explain, that if I look nice or not, is not my doing. My wife is my fashion expert. She chooses my work clothes for me, each day, she even buys them for me, and there is a very good reason for this.

Fashion and I don’t understand each other. I have always had issues with what to wear. What goes where, etc. Nowadays I joke about it, but when I was young, it was a serious problem. Below are some short memories I have about myself and clothes.

I remember having the letters R and L on the top of my shoes. I think I needed them until high-school. I could not determine left shoes from right shoes. They looked the same to me. They mostly felt the same to me.and I could not understand why it was important to put them on the “correct” foot until I was about 15 years old.

There was a day that I woke up, and had to dress myself. I looked at my shirt drawer, and I got really confused. What type of day was it going to be? I was 8 years old I think, but just in case, I started putting shirts on by what I might need. I ended up taking all of my shirts out of the drawer and putting them on over top of each other. I was shocked when I was told by my mom, to go change into 1 shirt, and I was left with the same original problem. My brother helped me finally choose a shirt that day.

One year in elementary, Grade 1 I think. (It may have been grade 4 or 5) We had our photo day at school, and had to dress up. I was given this nice brown corduroy suit jacket and pants. I wore a tie, and I felt so respectable that day. It made me feel so good to be dressed up like that. So I decided i would keep wearing it, everyday. I think I made it to 1 week before other kids teasing finally got through and I stopped wearing it.

In High school, and well into my mid twenties, i wore a fedora. (from around 1993~2004). I had a few fedoras for different clothes. I had a black one that I had bolted hard drive parts to, giving it a steam-punk~ish look. I had a brown one I wore with my leather jacket in winter. I had a grey one I would wear casually. Keep in mind this was before a few boy bands began to bring back the hat. My thought pattern was the Fedora, and similar hats were gentleman hats. They were worn in a gentler time by gentlemen. I still have some fedoras now, but many of them have been misplaced.

When I started teaching, I often wore brightly colored, silk screened Hawaiian style shirts with superheroes on them to work. I would show up to my school with my shirts wide open, and a t-shirt underneath. I would partner these with khaki or black cargo pants. I liked the feel of the shirts, I liked the bright colors as they relaxed me, and had no concept that I was the only teacher dressed unprofessionally. I blame the language barrier, or cultural barriers. The Korean school I worked at just didn’t know how to broach the subject.

Now I’m not saying I have no say in what I wear. But my wife helps me be more aware. For example, when my old school would have spirit week, I was adamant that I needed clothes of the different house colors. Many schools over here have adopted the British House system. (See Harry Potter if you don’t know). What I had was goofy t-shirts. While some of the staff took it and ran with it, by wearing wigs, funny ties, feather boas, and other outlandish things. I couldn’t do that. See I may have bad fashion sense, but I can’t make myself wear outlandish things either. They feel unauthentic, and overwhelming, and I just can’t do it for more than an hour. My wife helped me find some really nice sliky work shirts for every color of the rainbow so that I could still participate.

Even costumes for like halloween. I need to wear something authentic. I often dress as Sherlock Holmes, or Pirates, or knights. I won’t wear the fake blood, or wigs, or anything like that. I do still need help with costumes though.

I remember once when I was a child, I went trick or treating as Wonder Woman. And now a young boy doing so may be more acceptable. I had no idea that it wasn’t at that time. My brothers were Superman and Batman, so i was Wonder Woman.

In High school, I had a friend who was a bit goth. He liked black trench coats, and to talk about vampires. So I dressed up as him for halloween. He told me flat out it was dis respectful. He was larger than me, and I had stuffed my waist with a pillow to fill out, but It never occurred to me that it would be upsetting. I was sure he would like it.

I once made a Gold Ranger Costume for Halloween in Highschool. The original Gold Ranger from Power Rangers Zeo. I had a wooden Power Staff my Step-father had helped me build. I had made the tight fitting costume and chest shield, even the helmet. I was Grade 11. Power Rangers was still considered a Kids show. I got a lot of compliments on the costume, not realizing until later, that I was showing my classmates that i watched “Kids Shows” instead of Age appropriate things like “Friends” or “Seinfeld” which I, to this day, do not understand.

I still have trouble with “Special Event” clothes. Clothes that sit in my closet, that I never get to wear because they are for special events. I have a few full business suits, that No longer fit, because I outgrew them before I could wear them a second time. I have shirts, casual and business, that are in the same boat. But I respect that my wife understands these things better than me. and so they sit waiting for that special event.

Needless to say, with all my difficulties with clothes, I am much happier just relaxing at home, where I can stay in my pajamas, or lounge in my indoor clothes, clothes that nobody needs to see, and can look as mismatched as my thoughts.