Yesterday I was walking just outside the Metrotown Mall in Burnaby B.C. I was late for a meeting, so I was powerwalking as I do, when this man came up to me. He was dressed very casually, not dirty clothes like he was homeless, but not clean. He looked like he had just been out on a hot day hanging out. He asked in a very police voice if I had any extra change for him to buy Ice cream with. I quickly said that I was unable to help him right now and continued on my way. As I passed him I heard him scream out “I WANT ICE-CREAM!” in frustration.

This incident has made me think about the people I give help to, and I do. I have doggy-bagged food to people who needed it in Vancouver while I was downtown, and a couple of bucks to people who looked like they needed it for food, here in Surrey. I give to charity groups when I can, which is not often. I even get the children to give if I am with them. (I give Sammy & JD a buck each and have them go and give it to the person). In my mind Ice cream is not a reason to be donating money to a 30 to 40 year old man for.

I have made appoint over my life to give when I can, because I have had to sleep in the street in my past, and can guess what it is like to be in that position on a long term basis. My first time sleeping in the street was in Korea. I had taken the train from Pusan to Seoul during my first trip to Korea. I got to the City after midnight and the buses had all stopped. So I walked to the area north of the train station to where the Canadian Embassy was, and had to sleep on a bench that night. This was the time I had had my apartment emptied by an angry ex-employer. The next morning the Canadian Embassy helped me by contacting my family and arranging for my flight back to Canada.

My second time that I was forced to sleep outside was a much more positive experience, I had taken the boat over to Japan from Korea, I had gone to extend my visa. When I got on the boat, I had asked the crew of the boat if they knew where I could exchange my money from Korean to Japanese, they did not. When I got off the boat I spent the day trying to find a place to exchange my money, and I could not find a place as the Korean Won is not an international currency. (So I found out). By the end of the day I realized I could not pay for my hotel reservation, and had slumped down at the local Subway / Train station in Hakata.

A Japanese man walked over to me and sat down, and with his broken English asked me what was wrong. So I talked to him for a while. He was having a bad day too. Someone had stolen his bicycle, and he couldn’t go home until he reported it to the police in the morning. (He lived to far away to walk at night) So he, myself, a group of 4 homeless Japanese men, and a young lady who had just returned from India, and was waiting for the trains to run again in the morning, sat together, pooled what we had and managed to scrape enough together to by some ichiban noodles and sake from the 7-11. We sat and talked and (The girl and the 1^st man translated for me) and I had never felt safer with a group of strangers in my life. The next day I took the boat back to Korea. I returned the following week with my money already converted and extended my visa with no problems.

In China I would see a lot of people begging for money and they usually have a sign scrawled down in front of them explaining their situation, or they are street musicians or something. These people I have helped when I can. I remember a case that I had just bought our first family DVD Player, and was walking back to the house with it. A young college age lady wearing designer clothes and carrying an iPhone came up to me and asked if I spoke Chinese. I responded that I don’t, and then she said with a sad voice “I’m hungry” and held out her hand. Now I realize that she could very well have been in need. But after seeing that she had expensive clothes on and an expensive phone in her hand, I said “Sorry, I don’t have anything to give” and continued on my way home. I saw that same girl a few months later, helping out at one of the many food stands along that road. Wearing not so expensive things, and I thought. “good for you.”

Just a few months ago here in Surrey, Irish and I had gone to the local Walmart to buy a few things, including cough syrup, and for reasons beyond this article’s scope, all of our cards were rejected. We felt embarrassed, and apologised to the cashier and told her we’d be back. A man behind us offered to pay for our things. This was really sweet of him, and I declined his offer. I told him that for us it was just a minor setback and we’d be ok, but that he should help someone who was more in need than we were.

I am aware that my few times being stuck on the street for the night could have turned out very bad for me, and I feel blessed that they didn’t. I also feel bad for the people who actually need help, like in China, where there is no Social Assistance for people hurt on the job, or lose their job for unexpected things. I am however upset at people who try to take advantage of that charity in other for ice-cream or because they believe they deserve a hand out. I don’t want people to just give us help, and for those of you who have helped us over the years, I want you to know that I have been keeping track and I am budgeting out a way to pay you all back. Even if you don’t expect it we will repay your kindness somehow.